julia's room
Today I started Julia's room. We had cleaned out the closet a week or so ago, but I stripped the bedding, took all remaining furniture out and started into spackling. The walls are in pretty good shape, and I could probably begin painting tomorrow if I want to, if I buy the paint. She is beginning to become a presence in the house and I have been careful of that before this. Fear of not really adopting, fear of losing her for some CCAA reason, just mother fear -- wanting to save myself from the pain of not having her. But now she has a quilt, and soon a painted room. I bought two sets of clothes and Matthew's lego. Now she is more than a bulging file in the music room and a few pictures on the frig. Slowly, Julia Zhi Kuang comes into view.
Julia Time & Hoosier Time
first mention of travel
When we travel to China, we will probably first go to Bejing for sight seeing and to get accustomed to to the time change. Then it will be off to Nanchang which is the capital of Jiangxi Province. There we will do the Chinese part of the adoption and there is where we may meet Julia Zhi Kuang. If we are very lucky we will travel to Xiajiang County Social Welfare Institute which is Julia's orphanage. Finally, we will go further south to Guangzhou where the American embassy is located and do the American part of the adoption. The map also point out Harbin in the northeast. That is where Cheshire's roommate Christina will be and we hope that she can visit us at some point in our journey.
More school-like info about Nanchang is http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nanchang
LID
More letters and more dates. And closer all the time to Julia Zhi Kuang. FTIA just emailed that date that our dossier was logged into the CCAA, the Chinese adoption bureau. It is from this date that we count days until we are invited to travel. Right now, people are invited (get their TA) 45-90 days after their LOI, with an average of 70 days. Anywhere near that average should allow us to travel in August and with Cheshire.
Here are all our dates so far:
LOI 3/31 (Letter of intent to adopt Zhi Kuang)
PA 4/14 (Preliminary approval from China to adopt her)
DTC 5/12 (Dossier to China)
LID 5/15
PA
without labor
Yesterday, in an email, a friend wrote that by August we would have a kindergardener without the labor, as is birthing. This is the first time someone has said something that many adopters complain about. The comment came from a loving and wonderful friend and I take no offense. I understand why someone trying for years to have a first child would take offense. This is not 'labor' but, god, it is a lot of work. We are fortunate in that my years of yearning for a second child prompted me to investigate and get ready. When we made the decision, we could hit the ground running with a few agencies that I knew I liked, a program that I wanted to be a part of, and even special needs that I was interested in. We were able to start our paper chase right away, and also take that time to talk -- the almost endless conversation about decisions. And we have worked relatively quickly -- gather papers, sending out papers, and meeting appointments. We also luckily found our Julia quickly. With all this speed and taking part in a pilot program which gives us a certain advantage with timing, our adoption, if we are lucky will still take at the least 8 months. And although I will have had to live through a pregnancy and labor and birth, we have filled out more forms with more personal information that I would like to remember, waited on lines, been punctured and prodded, and had my finger prints taken three times. And in the next months we will learn about the wait -- waiting for China to review our dossier and decide if Xiao Zhi Kuang will become Julia Zhi Kuang. And then we will travel half way across the world, tear a little girl away from the only family she has known, and plunge her into a Caucasian, english speaking family who will love her but who will be very, very strange to her.
Yes, in August I should have my second daughter without labor. I smile. Forming family is never without labor.
my smiling girl
Okay, a new map of China. The dark red spot is the province where Julia Zhi Kuang lives and where we will go when we travel. This week we also received two new pictures of our girl. They were taken in a playground, I imagine the orphanage playground, and Julia is wearing the same shirt that she had on in her referral pictures. I tried to enlarge and crop the pictures to get a better look at Julia. In one picture she is smiling. How nice to see this little girl smile.
I like the way that she stands. She does not look as lost as her other pictures. She looks compentent. David says she might be a tyrant. Well, I could see that as well. Possibly, spoiled and use to her own way. But a whole person, comfortable with herself.
I have fear about the adoption that surfaces now and then. Fear that Julia will never feel part of our family, fear that she is not bright or curious, fear that I will not know how to mother her. But I know that I felt this same way before Cheshire was born. Just fear, just fear, just fear.
I wonder if Julia knows that she has an American family. The little picture book should have gotten to her by now. Are her foster parents showing it to her? Will they try to get her ready for us? I do wish that we could meet then, and then stay in touch with them. But from what I have read there will be no orphanage visits in JiangXi anymore. Other parents have not been allowed, so I have to believe it will be the same for us. Still, I hate to think that we will tear Julia away from her home without being able to see them, to say a hello and good-bye to them, to make some attempt at transition.
And Cheshire has been home for six hours and it is as if she was never any where else. How wonderful to have this feeling about another person. How wonderful to have such a daughter.
DTC
We are now DTC. Our dossier all certified and authenticated will be making its way to China for the CCAA to look at, scrutinze, and hopefully, approve. I am sure this is going to be the hardest part of the wait; however, so far I have no been able to enjoy really thinking about Julia as a person. I guess I did when we were making the decision to request to adopt her, but since that I have concentrated on the work of it and studied this face without really, really expecting that she would come home to us, live in our house, and be our daughter and beloved person. I don't know whether I held back in case for some reason we could not do the paper chase, or just because it was all so long away, so rather vague. But if concentrating on the work of it was what helped our dossier to be done in a little less than three and a half months, then it was a good way to be thinking during this time. And now, I can start imagining her here, in her room, playing with toys and running in the backyard.
Welcome home, Julia Zhi. Welcome, my little girl.
Documents To China
The last bit of our dossier reached FTIA this morning. We should be DTC tomorrow. David is still set on Julia. Names have come and gone, but Julia seems be sticking. Julia Zhi Kuang Buchko Schanker. It has a nice sound.
wings
Sometimes you just have to take the leap, and build your wings on the way down.
Yobi Yamada
chicago weekend
Raisa, Raina, Razi (hebrew for secret), Rea, Reya, Rianna, Rilla, and Ronalee
More names. Stil no name.
David brought Shadiamon up to Chicago this weekend and we showed her a few sights. The Shed Aquarium (with really expensive tickets) took up most of the day. Then a little walking on Michigan and we headed for the American Girl Store which blew her away. Nothing like a girl who loves dolls. We found her a new outfit of her Addy and a new book and a brush. She quizzed the hairdresser who was working on a Addy doll so much so that the woman assumed that the doll she was working on was ShaDiamon's. Then we had dinner at Heaven on Seven where ShaDiamon insisted on having Catfish -- she is not too reliable about picking food and I thought this was way out. Of course, the kid proved me wrong and she loved the fish. I tasted it and it was really good. She is slowly picking up so many of our ways -- tasting eachother's foods, teasing David, movies, movies, movies. I am amazed at our comfort level -- more so because of all my reading about attachment. We have known each other for a year now and we really trust eachother. She listens to me and I am confident in what she tells me and what she does. She does create some fictions now and again, but none are awful lies. ShaDiamon is such a bright and engaging child. I would love to be a friend to her for a very long time and watch her grow up to be a success in her life.
Tomorrow the last two documents go to the consulate and then to FTIA, and then the dossier goes to China. We may have Zhi Kuang in three or four short months. I hope she can grow to love us as much as ShaDiamon has. That would be enough. Dianu.
We talk the indy/chicago. Our stable lives have been pretty much turned up side down, and I don't know what will happen. I need to get consciously on my path again and jump high and wide. Time to let the angels catch me again. Ready, guys?
I decided I will start a blog for the kids that I know to tell them about the adoption and to let them meet Zhi Kuang that way.
And the novel is so close to being finished. I am scared of that day. I see now. I want David and then an agent and then a publisher to love it, to call me genius. I am scared they will and scared they will not. This is a tough one. I don't want to fail but I admit to fearing doing well as well. Then what? I know not what to expect, but I can't not push it a final time or two and then let it fly on its own.
Wow I just deleat
The goverment comes through!
Our I-171 came in the mail today! This is the last piece for our dossier and CIS Indy, our department of homeland security, formerly the INS, send it to us to arrived only 6 days after we had our fingerprints done. I am more than impressed and truly thankful for their attention. We sent a letter to the CIS last Friday telling them to please expedite us because Zhi Kuang was waiting in China. AND they did it!
Now, David will have the appropriate document (which is a copy of the I-171 and our statement) notarized and certified tomorrow. He will bring it to Chicago this weekend, and I will have it authenticated on Monday.
Then the remaining parts of our dossier, some $$, and our adoption workbooks will go to FTIA via overnight mail.
If we are lucky, we will be DTC -- Documents To China -- next Friday.
Sophie
Sofie
Sophia
Rebecca
Becca
Arielle
Cleo
Audrey
Julia
More name consideration. Someone better have a dream and quickly! A long time home, almost a week without Chicago. A short visit from Cheshire and everything worked out fine. She did miss two days of classes but her fall term at Cambridge, spring in Spain, and summer in Bolivia are on course. Plus, she will be in Indy this summer which I am only just taking in. My heart appears quite tender these days. It will be a joy to decorate Zhi Kuang's room with Cheshire and do meals and movies together. It is good too because she will be such a traveler next year that we will see her only when we visit. We intend to visit but who knows how Zhi Kuang will do at home and traveling. I am ambitious today -- work, book, and garden -- and David really does not want to move. Ummmm.
Zheee!
The mom of another Jaingxi girl whose daughter is just home for a month and who has been answering my many questions about her daughter's arrival and transition says that Zhi is pronounced zhee not jou. No matter what FTIA says and the Chinese online dictionary says, she was just there and it is what her daughter answers to, so how could she be wrong. And I really love Zhee! I do hope it is true.
jello slow
I have been ambivelant about keeping up to date on this blog this last week. Everything seems slow, jello-wading slow. And there are tensions at work that will not be resolved anytime soon. So much for perfection, even with a long commute. Anyway, we were fingerprinted last Thursday and sent a plea to the CIS on Friday to expedite. I am so hoping for the I 171 at the end of this week, but no guarantees at all. They had a hard time getting my fingerprints -- dry hands, probably from typing, they told me. I am not perfection with taking care of my skin, but I do use hand cream most of the time. If my fingerprints are tough, I'm surprised that we ever catch crooks! Most of them use very little hand cream from what I've observed. Ha!
Cheshire will be home for the summer. Taking courses to make up for going to Cambridge next fall, and possibly finding a job. I am so happy to have her with us over the summer. I did not expect it at all. She is willing to help with Zhi Kuang's room, etc. and getting ready to travel. I intend to enjoy that time with her.
The boat she coxes, the 4, is doing very well. They were No. 1 last week in the division. They are going to New England Finals this next weekend and Cheshire expects great things. My jock! It is so satisfying to see her move into her power, to increase her skills, and to find a sport she really loves.
I had surges of love for Zhi Kuang over the last week -- I can almost see her face when I am not looking at her pictures. I thought of her when I was at the Kid's Museum with Robin and kids, and thinking of what I would do on a maturnity leave.
Current name is Julia. David really likes it. Cheshire will need to approve.
