my smiling girl
Okay, a new map of China. The dark red spot is the province where Julia Zhi Kuang lives and where we will go when we travel. This week we also received two new pictures of our girl. They were taken in a playground, I imagine the orphanage playground, and Julia is wearing the same shirt that she had on in her referral pictures. I tried to enlarge and crop the pictures to get a better look at Julia. In one picture she is smiling. How nice to see this little girl smile.
I like the way that she stands. She does not look as lost as her other pictures. She looks compentent. David says she might be a tyrant. Well, I could see that as well. Possibly, spoiled and use to her own way. But a whole person, comfortable with herself.
I have fear about the adoption that surfaces now and then. Fear that Julia will never feel part of our family, fear that she is not bright or curious, fear that I will not know how to mother her. But I know that I felt this same way before Cheshire was born. Just fear, just fear, just fear.
I wonder if Julia knows that she has an American family. The little picture book should have gotten to her by now. Are her foster parents showing it to her? Will they try to get her ready for us? I do wish that we could meet then, and then stay in touch with them. But from what I have read there will be no orphanage visits in JiangXi anymore. Other parents have not been allowed, so I have to believe it will be the same for us. Still, I hate to think that we will tear Julia away from her home without being able to see them, to say a hello and good-bye to them, to make some attempt at transition.
And Cheshire has been home for six hours and it is as if she was never any where else. How wonderful to have this feeling about another person. How wonderful to have such a daughter.
posted by Suz @ 10:02 PM
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