Waiting for Hari

Nanchang -- Friday morning

Julia waiting for the rest of the family to get ready for breakfast. 

posted by Suz @ 11:48 PM 2 comments

Nanchang - Thursday

Julia Bye-bye's new dress which she announced to Catherine and Cindy, our guides, that was very beautiful.

Julia Dancing
 

posted by Suz @ 11:44 PM 0 comments

Nanchang - - Wednesday & Thursday

I missed yesterday writing. I think David and I had a touch of food poison from a rather sketchy dinner we had the night before yesterday. We put Julia Bye-bye to bed about 8:30 last night and turned out the lights to let her fall asleep with the idea the we would get up again. None of us did. I woke up around midnight to take off my clothes and get under the covers. And we all slept through the night.

Today, we are all back to normal!

Julia is a dancer, a girly-girly who refuses to put pants or short on, a singer who performs for us, a very good eater, a sound sleeper, and a great hair stylist! She is all physical right now. She has no interest in sit-down toys or games. She will color for a few minutes but prefers throwing her big beach ball or swimming or chasing pigeons. She has been dancing in front of the tv screen and we thought it was just because she could see herself, but this morning we turned on the tv as we were showering and dressing. Julia Bye-bye found a channel with dance instruction which she watched carefully and then got up and tried following the dancers. She has done this before.

And yes, we have turned on the tv in the morning. Never say never!

We bought her a dress today because I brought one dress and one skirt and they are both dirty. She refuses to put on pants or shorts and it is a battle I’ve never thought worth fighting. I expect that we will find more clothes when we get to Guangzhou. She loves pretty clothes. Really loves them. How does she know which are pretty? Her orphanage clothes are anything but pretty. TV or fashion genes?

We gave her tiny hair clips yesterday and stickers and she decorated her hair with both. Today we took out tiny hair elastics and she has two tiny pigtails that look like tiny horns on top of her head. We were at a park today – the only non-Chinese there – where people do Ti Chi, ballroom dancing, hearty singing of revolutionary song, playing of the inverted violin. Part of the part had kids rides and we did a few – dragon boats going in circles in water, a merry-go-round, and a big climbing gym. Julia Bye-bye enjoyed everything full out – wanting more and more. When we got to the climbing gym that we thought was going to be perfect for her, she didn’t want to wait for us to buy tickets. She pulled and whined and screamed and dropped to the ground. It was different from what she has done before. She was testing us and we had to say no. So we walked away with a screaming child while a nice sized group of older Chinese women watched. I don’t know if I gained or lost face in front of them. LOL After we walked away from the gym, and she finished her little tantrum, she was fine. I think better really.

As we walked through the park, people stared and I realized that Julia had her shoes on the wrong feet. I mentioned it to Cheshire, saying the people would think we were pretty green parents to put shoes on the wrong feet. Cheshire commented that no one was going to get to her shoes – people would have a hard time getting past the hair with about 20 little clips, heart shaped stickers, and little pigtails. I was so accustomed to this hair after 24 hours I had stopped thinking it unusual.

We’ve each had time alone with Julia. David and Cheshire went for massages this afternoon. Julia and I danced around the room, took pictures of her which she enjoyed, played with the big beach ball we brought, and blew bubbles. She is a joy to play with. We have very few words but she is interested in learning to count. She counts in Manderin or her dialect, and can sort of count from one to five in English. She seems to understand "wait," "food," and a few other words. We understand "Go," "Stop," "No," and "thank you." At times we wonder if she hopes we will learn Chinese if she just repeats the same things over and over again. So far, we know about the same amount of each others’ languages.

We seem to have one melt down a day. Usually at the end of the day and involving the change of clothing. She cries, screams, and gets a bit violent with hitting and trying to scratch me. I hold her when she lets me and let her go and sit by her when she won’t. She still stops crying when she needs to blow her nose, and then picks up again. She is tired, she is grieving, and the transition from day to night is really hard for her.

We went to the "famous" Nanchang pagoda yesterday. (Nanchang is not a city of sights.) It was built over 600 years ago, destroyed 27 times only to be rebuilt 28 times. The last time was in 1985 and we are grateful that they put in an elevator and a bit of air conditioning which were probably not part of the original design. With a wiggle worm of a child, it was impossible to read anything about this place, but it seems to have been built as a cultural and visitor center – there are gardens as well but we did not get to them in the stifling heat. On the top floor of the building, there was a small stage and we sat on benches to watch a short performance. A woman in a beautiful red Chinese robe sang, younger girls danced, and a small band made up of Chinese instruments played. It was very touristy but considering how un-touristy this town is, it was amazing that anyone was there. We watched with a number of Chinese people. Julia Bye-bye was enthralled by the show. Her eyes did not stray from the stage, she gasped as if it was magic and called out to the performers. After the show we went on stage to meet the performers. Julia was awestruck by the performers. JCC Broadway Camp here we go again.

About her name – it does seem to be Bye-bye, although not said as if someone was leaving. I will have to find a spelling for this pronunciation.

Julia also recognized Xaio Zhi Lan from the FTIA photo. We received back the single use camera we sent to the orphanage and we developed the pictures. They were taken during one or two days and are not very revealing, but every little bit of history we can gather for our Julia will be a good thing for her future. There is just one picture with her friends – Zhi Lan who she calls Meowa (like the cat sound but ending in an "a") and a boy she calls Na.

Another thing, after asking the questions many times about her foster home, the orphanage director told Catherine that Julia was fostered from 2 to 12 months during the building of a new orphanage. Then she was returned and has lived in the orphanage since that time. The children don’t attend school at the orphanage. There was also just a few children who are not infants.– not clear whether was 3 or 5. I hope the boy –Na – and any other older child at that orphanage gets to be adopted. The orphanage director asked to keep in contact and I will try to do this to encourage him to find homes for the older kids.

Tonight I went to a conference room to work on some of the last paperwork. When I returned to the room, I felt like I had missed Julia while I was away. The firs time to miss her. I am not completely in love yet, but the feelings are growing. I don’t perceive that we are necessarily special to her at this point. But she is happy to be with us and watches everything we do. We will catch her heart.

posted by Suz @ 7:16 PM 0 comments

a few of the beautiful babies!

This is for you, Patricia! And more to come.


 

posted by Suz @ 1:46 AM 0 comments

Nanchang -- beautiful hair!

posted by Suz @ 1:29 AM 0 comments

Nanchang -- day 4

posted by Suz @ 1:13 AM 0 comments

Julia Bye-bye

Warning: I am exhausted and not proofing. Read at your own risk.

Xiao Zhi Kuang is now Julia ZhiKuang Buchko Schanker! The adoption is final in the eyes of China.

We started the day well. We woke up far too early and took showers. Julia also woke up – Cheshire says that it was me who woke everyone up – she looked around, like someone who is not sure if the previous day was a dream. She was happy to see us and put her arms up to be taken out of the crib. I put her on my bed with a small bowl of caraways and a tiny box of raisins. She ate them one by one, sharing pieces with anyone who was willing to hang with her for awhile.

I opened the drawer where I put her clothes to get something out for her. I took out shorts and the Hanna Andersen skirt I brought along. She immediately wanted the skirt!. She put on stripped underpants – she had none when she came to us – and she liked those. I put on white socks and cuffed them. She undid the cuffs and pulled the socks up to her kneed. I put a which shirt with heart on and tucked it into the skirt. Julia immediately pulled the shirt out of the skirt, pulled the shirt up to show her tummy, pulled the skirt up onto her chest – shades of Urchle– , pulled the shirt down over the skirt and pulled the skirt down a little bit. This is a process that she would repeat throughout the day to make her look right. Here I thought I would have at least a few months of dressing her as I liked, but NO, I have a second daughter who is a fashion arbiter just like the first one!

We went back to the Civil Affairs building and started the adoption procedure. This room was again full of babies and now parents with them. There must have been at least 40 families in a stuffy and hot, albeit large, room. Julia hated it for a good deal of the time. She was not craze about going into the room. Insisted on being held and carried everywhere which the orphanage director frowned upon and our backs cried out in pain. We were interviewed, gave our gifts to the Agency and the orphanage, handed over our remaining feed, and waited for everyone else to do the same. It was a long wait and Julia was the only girl of her age. (We did meat a family adopting a 12 year old who was extremely well behaved. It would have been very nice to chat with them and we did it for a short time, but was too busy running after Julia or keeping her from taking every baby toy in the room for herself. I had the feeling the other parents started out thinking she was very cute and later wished we would leave. It seemed like forever until we left, but Catherine and Cindy worked very hard to get us all finished up.

Next stop was the Notary Office which was a close as we got to a court. The Notary asked us quesitons including our education plan and asked us to promise to love and care for Julia always. We had no trouble at all saying a hearty yes to him. He shook our hands and declared her adopted.

Next stop was Walmart where other families shopped for baby stuff, David picked up more bottled water – we were going through a half gallon when there were 3 of us, more now. He bought banana which Julia is learning to say, and oranges which she loves.

Oh, oh, one thing about her name. We could not get her to answer to her name ZhiKuang saying it like JourKuong. We heard her say it! In the first office we went to when the official said her name. It sounded like ZiiCon, the Con like corn without the r. She would not answer to our attempts at that either. We had Catherine ask the orphanage director once again in another way about her name and what she was called in her foster home. This is the third time this question was asked in some form and this was the winner! She was called Bye-bye by her foster parents. We had wondered about this because when she looked in the mirror with her clothes on and when she saw herself she said Bye-bye. It is not quite the bye-bye she says when she leave somewhere. Once again, we are unable to pronounce it correctly. We are failing terrible at this tonal language thing. I can almost hear the difference but cannot reproduce the correct sounds. So Julia also does not answer to our called her Bye-bye but she does answer when a Chinese person says it.

We decided that because we need something to call her that she will respond to we might as well start using Julia. So we are saying Julia Bye-bye, and I think when we say it, our prounciation of Bye-bye is closer to correct. She said Julia tonight and although not responding to her name seems to be understanding that we are talking to her.

Ah, and pride in our kid’s achievements! Julia Bye-bye does say "meow" to indicate she needs to pee. She peed in the street right next to our bus – how many people can say that about their kid! And she had peed at various times and mostly in toilets throughout the day. That kid can pee! She is drinking a lot of water and some orange juice. She is also a wiz – okay couldn’t help that one – at the squatty toilet, pulling her panties down and her skirt up and wetting nothing! Our western tiolets are a bit of a challenge for her, but she is willing to use them with out help. No poop yet, but maybe tomorrow.

After our lunch, we went swimming in the pool. We changed in our room and Julia Bye-bye did not want to take off our skirt (I am wondering if we will be able to put on clean clothes on her tomorrow) and so we carried her suit to the pool We were alone there and David and I went in and swam around. Cheshire sat on the side with her. She was very excited but scared. Finally, after yelps and screams, she decided to join us. She took off her cloths, refused the bathing suit, put on her arm floaties and came to me in the pool. She was in the water for an hour and cried when we took her out. She kicked her legs and splashed. She put her face in the water and did not mind it getting wet. She wasn’t too crazy about having her hair wet.

After swimming, I thought she might nap but it didn’t happen. I wonder if the reports of her napping are true. We decided to go walking outside at about 4 and used the stroller provided to us by the hotel. Julia loved the stroller, she watched everything go by, sitting up straight and holding onto the front bar. It was very cute.

Well, I am bushed. I am going to close for tonight. Julia has a smaller melt down tonight and then was distractable. She spent about an hour, putting on and taking off kid jewelry from her bear. I’d love to give her Bitty Baby doll because I have some clothes that she could take off and put on and I think she’d love that, but she is still freaking over the moving eyes. She talks to us and to her toys. She was able to go to sleep, again in the crib, at about 8.

Yes, indeed, older adoption is not for the faint of heart; however, the challenge is nothing compared to our Julia Bye-bye.

posted by Suz @ 11:00 AM 4 comments

Getting Julia on 28 Aug 2005

Warning: I am exhausted and not proofing. Read at your own risk.

I must write about our gotcha day before the immediacy dulls. It was as I had said, but so much more intense and lovely and hard. We were late when we arrived at the Civil Affairs Bureau. The agency is on the 26 floor of a building new enough to be filled with new dust and paint smells. It is also hot and stuffy. Our group went into a very large room that was filled with babies and nannies. They lined all four walls and were crying. Cheshire and David saw Julia before I did. She was sitting on a wooden bench apart from th others with the director of the orphanage looking after her. She had on green pants, a yellow shirt, and yellow plastic sandles decorated with plastic flowers. Around her neck was a string with a card attached. It had her picture on it and her name in Chinese characters. Later, I realized that all of the children had them but hers was the one of the few around her neck. She sat, very watchful, one hand on her name card. When I saw her, I couldn’t believe that she was there. She was the same girl from her pictures. Having troubles with all the rules, I went over to her and knelt beside her. David and Cheshire came over as well, and I think the orphanage director gave up making us wait our turn. He pushed her towards us saying that we were her mother, father, and sister. She was hesitant coming to us but was interested in us. I got out the bubbles and we started blowing bubbles. Cheshire joined and she had Julia blowing bubbles as well. Julia’s reaction was hysterical happiness. She was like a two year old, jumping up and down, clapping, and screaming with joy. But she was not crying! Very soon, Catherine, our guide, told us that it was time to go back to the bus and we scooped Julia up and headed for the bus.

Oh, the director handed us a plastic bag. Inside was a gift from the orphanage, the clothes I sent, and the camera I sent. He indicated that the pictures were taken. The bear we sent was also there and that has been a constant companion since we left the Civil Affairs building. The photo album was not returned.

Back at the hotel room, we have her the Bitty Baby doll that I packed for her. The doll has opening and closing eyes which freaked her out. She did not know how to deal with moving eyes apart from hitting the doll with the bear.

We also gave her the butterfly pocket book with the kid jewelry. She loves this and has been dressing Cheshire, me, and bear with the plastic necklaces and bracelets which were inside the bag. She also has a tiny doll without moving parts that is her third special friend.

We ate caraways, raisins, and then went down to the dinner buffet to have dinner. We all managed a little dinner – Julia having fried rice, a few dim sum-like pieces, and some sushi. For dessert there was watermelon and tastes of fancy pastries. She loved all of it. She drank water almost exclusively.

Back upstairs the challenges began. Julia had a screaming, crying meltdown. She cried and screamed for at least 45 minutes. I held her, I rocked her, I let her sit along. She was wild and inconsolable. She did stop twice for her nose to be cleaned up and for her to blow into a kleenex. She is a very good nose blower. When she was finished crying, she motioned that she wanted to go into the crib. She laid down and went to sleep.

What an incredible day! We worried about how young she acted, that she did not respond to her name even said by our guides, Catherine and Cindy, that she repeated a few "words" over and over, and was hysterically happy and later had an incredible melt down. David was very wormed. Now, I have read every story I could find about adopting older kids and international adoptions. I’ve read plenty of books and thought I was well prepared for the behaviors the Julia might present to us; however, when it was my kid doing the behaviors, I freaked! I was just not sure of myself and could not just trust that we had to go through this process of grieving and shock and settling in. I emailed Betty from FTIA and put a message up on two of my yahoo boards. Within what seemed like minutes I had answers that reassured me that this was all normal. I went to bed – didn’t sleep enough – but slept through the night, as did my daughters.

posted by Suz @ 10:43 AM 0 comments

My girls

posted by Suz @ 6:41 AM 1 comments

Nanchang - day 5 Ice cream

posted by Suz @ 6:36 AM 1 comments

posted by Suz @ 6:20 AM 0 comments

Nanchang -- day 4 after the bath

The crib which I did not expect her to sleep in was a play toy; however, when it was finally time for her to sleep -- after a 45 minute melt down -- she is very happy sleeping in the crib.
Just look at that face!
My girls. 

posted by Suz @ 10:04 AM 6 comments

Nanchang -- Gotcha!

We do indeed. We have a whirling dervish of a child -- she did not stop from the time we met her until she dissolved in tears and went to sleep. There are not many pictures because we were focused on her and her alone. I will write more later but I know that everyone would rather look at pictures.

 

posted by Suz @ 9:58 AM 0 comments

Beijing - just before day 4

The plan for today is this. We are to be checked out of our rooms and ready to leave by 8 am. Pampered as we are, we left our check luggage outside our doors last night for it to be collected and sent on. I could get used to this kind of travel.

Our flight to Nanchang, Jiangxi Province is at 10, and we will reach our hotel close to 2. Then we have a little while to prepare ourselves. Unpack, load / charge cameras, walk in senseless circles around the room. I will unpack the bag that we brought for Julia, put clothes in a drawer, take out our few toys, figure out what to bring with us to the Civil Affairs Office. Families getting babies might bring a bottle with formula, a soft toy, bubbles. We well not have a bottle, but perhaps a small container of cherios or a tiny box of raisins. The aim is to ease the transition from old to new life for our daughters.

On the bus yesterday, Catherine told us that there are four kinds of babies received on adoption day: The happy baby who immediately smiles and is satisfied with her parents. This child must learn to smile only for her parents, and not any adult who comes into her sights. For the parents on adoption day, this child is the easiest. She forms a relationship quickly and this way of behaving served her well in the orphanage where her sweet smiles gained her extra attention from overworked care givers.

The crying baby, who takes one look at our big noses and wails! This is a hard baby for her parents because she might be crying for days! Not too many, Catherine tried to comfort us. But this baby is a smart girl because she knows that her life has changed and she has lost all control. Parents will have to prove themselves to this child before she rewards them with her smiles.

The serious baby, who just looks at her parents and considers her new situation.. She is ready to reward a good parent with smiles but she is wary about this change. She too realizes that a big change has taken place but she is calm as she considers her new life. This baby can scare her parents because of her demeanor and presence, but she too is smart and ready to reward her family with smiles as soon as she feels safe.

Then there is the baby who knows she is in need of love immediately and attaches, probably very physically, to one parent – usually the Baba or daddy. This child responds to her new circumstances by finding one person to depend on immediately and might only giver her smiles to that parent. This child is very hard on the feelings of the other parent and needs patience and understanding until she decides to expand her world to include 2 parents and a larger families.

This is, of course, simplistic, but a lovely story. It does sum up so much of the reading that I’ve done and also reminds me of the story of the 4 kinds of children that we tell at the Passover Seder. From the few pictures all of the parents have of their children, there is no way to tell what we are in for.

Back to the day. The only official document we need to bring to the Civil Affairs Office tomorrow is our passports. The adoption procedure with stamps and signing and fingerprints goes on 24 hours after we receive our children. Very sensible, that it almost makes me laugh out loud. The Chinese officials prove that they know something about adoptive families!

We will arrive as a group at the Civil Affairs Office and go to a room. We probably will hear the cries of babies when we arrive. They should be in another room close-by waiting for us. Julia is coming from her town which is about 3 hours from Nanchang. I thought that this was a far distance and would be so hard on her; however, the rest of the babies are traveling 5 hours to get to Nanchang.

When all is ready, the babies and Julia will be brought into the room one at a time and names will be called. We will not need to listen for Julia’s name as she is the only child of the group but I can imagine very easily not recognizing the name called or the moving child from the still photos. When our child's name is called, we move to the front, they check out passports for identification, and we are given our child.

We have no idea how this will play out for us because we cannot physically take her in our arms to claim her. Perhaps we will find a corner of the room to introduce ourselves and try to win Julia.

At some point, Catherine will be employed to ask questions of care givers. We are encouraged to have a list. I will also ask her to have the care giver tell Julia that they approve of us and want her to be happy in our family.

When all the children unite with their families, we get back on the bus and head to the hotel. There to try our hands at incorporating this child into our families. The group expressed wishes to all be on the same floor of the hotel and close to each other, and although we are in a different situation with an older child, I hope that this is given us. I wondered about the group birthing experience and this is what it is. Of course, we could do it alone and many special needs families go to the Civil Affairs office alone, or the child is brought to their hotel. But I am grateful for this group of strangers who have been thrown together by the gods, our membership determined by the date our documents were first sent to China and the province that our child came from. These families are becoming special to us, and whether we would be friends if brought together in other circumstances has no bearing on the circumstance that we will be together when we receive our beloved daughters.

posted by Suz @ 4:51 PM 0 comments

Beijing & the 10,000 Li Wall - day three

If this were an epic song, the music would set a listener’s soul buzzing today. Our group assembled early this morning. We had the look of a good night’s sleep, and there was a spring in each step that boarded our bus. The day was going to be warm but not stifling hot and there was a breeze. The sky was brighter and a wash of blue painted the grey. I wonder if it is always like this, or like this all during the summer?

There are gas masks in our closet in the hotel. Smog?

We drove for an hour outside of the city to one of the restored portions of the Great Wall. There are a number of sites where tourists climb. This one was packed with tourists, mostly Chinese and all of us struggling up the uneven steps of the Wall. Some of us took to the stairs with determination – one couple and Cheshire made it to the top and we have her to thank for our best pictures. David and I made it to the second tower. It was very hard for me. Yes, I am out of shape and I was not the only one who was vowing on the Wall to get to the gym. A vow to the gods of physical fitness no doubt – I wonder which of many Chinese deities that might be. To the gym, I promise, to dance at our daughter’s weddings.

It was not only the exertion but also the quick ascent the felled me. La Paz all
over again! Heart beating hard, ready to lose breakfast, and feeling very faint. I sat on steps a number of times as did other young and old climbers while we watched others young and old and tiny children who really had to climb the tallest of the steps, and young ladies climbing in heals (insane), and boys with bravado pass us by. Some made it no further than we did. Some did not. But the difficulty of the climb does not take anything away from the beauty and magic of the place. Many bones of workers are buried in this Wall, bones of political prisoners and slaves. They sing to the hills and the magnificence of place stirs those there. Someone, Mao maybe or some Emperor, said that to come to Beijing and not see the Great Wall is a great pity in a life. I have always wanted to see this Wall and it is the first great present that Julia ZhiKuang has given to our family. The experience of the Wall is quite overwhelmed by the purpose of this journey, but perhaps we experience it in the correct frame of mind.

It was a strenuous morning, the accomplishment of the climb no matter how modest was hard won.

Our group had lunch together in a building that also housed a government friendship store. I bought two small pieces of lavender jade for Julia and I and cloisome (painted and glazed copper) humming birds for our Christmas tree. Cheshire was about 2 when her grandpa and grandma went to China and brought us back many little figures that we’ve used on our tree since that time. Something I had forgotten – another thing that tied us so many years ago to China.

After lunch it was a drive to the Summer Palace, and there we walked, one of our group broke into tears at the sight of a severely burned man, and I managed to trip on a step and go sprawling on the hard stone walk, leaving a bit of skin where Emperors and Concubines spent their summer vacations. We took a dragon boat across the serene lake and gazed up at a Buddhist monastery on part of the surrounding hills.

Then on the bus, headed back to the hotel, Catherine started the baby talk, explaining tomorrow when we fly to our provinces and finally meet our children. Two days of touring, has reset our clocks, sapped our energy, broke a few inhibitions, bound us together just a little bit, and pushed us to this next phase of the journey. Our physical challenges might be behind us, but the challenges that the babies and Julia will pose will fill the next days.

Once again we are in bed before nine and probably asleep before 10. And then . . .

posted by Suz @ 4:46 PM 0 comments

keys

These are but a single pair of keys which unlock a single set of doors in a single building in the Forbidden City. What have these keys seen? Oh, if they could speak, what shape the story? Are they original or replacement from the 1600s? Did an Emperor touch them? How many times were they turned to open the doors or turned again to close? Did they rust in their locks? Did children take them out to peer inside keyholes? Did lovers whisper through the holes? Did revolutionaries rip them from the doors? Did they see Mao, the Gang of Four, the new bureaucrats? How many of us common people notice them, touch them, give one a turn? How long will they remain where they are silently observing and holding two great doors closed?

posted by Suz @ 3:11 PM 0 comments

Beijing Touring - day 2

I lost the post for Saturday after I pressed publish, so this is my second attempt to write down something about this day.
I am awake again after a few hours after going to sleep, and tonight, I can hear some very loud music which I assume is coming from a club in the hotel. The music is muffled, possibly Chinese rock, at least nothing that I recognize.
We toured a tiny piece of Beijing today. We road in a comfortable small bus, like many, many groups of tourists, to the Forbidden City and Tienemen Square. Both the City and Square were built in the 1400s and both are kept up and guarded as cultural landmarks for the people. Our guide, Catherine, emphasized to us before we arrived that these places were reserved for the imperial family and very high ranking officials in ancient times, but now belong to the people. And the people were taking advantage of their birth right today. Any foreigners were far outnumbered by Chinese visiting these landmarks.

Our group of 9 Caucasian families was one group of dozens groups of Chinese out to enjoy their heritage, listen to tour guides, take hundreds of pictures, and fall prey to the street sellers with their stamps, flags, kites, and little red Mao books. The square is huge - at some point the largest in the world, far bigger than the front plaza at the Vatican, but the purpose was the same. To gather, to make speeches, to perform and watch ceremonies, to see and be seen. We know these images from news and from movies, but the size remains surprising.

There is construction and restoration everywhere and at the tourist sights it is no different. The City is getting a face lift. Catherine insists that the government regularly sets aside money and man power to keep these important cultural landmark in good condition, but there is an intensity about the present refurbishment that is aimed at the 2008 Olympics. Very important building are covered in scaffolding and green plastic or mesh during the summer which appears to be an important tourist season in this city for in-country tourists.

The Chinese stare at us, and we go from stealing unobserved glances at them to full out staring right back at them. People touring their national heritage are fascinated with the young blond boy and very tall shaved-headed man who are both part of our group. These two were asked many, many times to have their pictures taken with children, family, and elders. We are all obliging when asked and those asking are happy with their unexpected attraction. Our tall man was asked by a family with an elderly short grandmother to pose with the woman. After the picture was taken, the son of the old woman physically joked about the sizes of the two. We all understood.

Language and communication. Language is impossible. Like Vietnam, there is no way to decipher the characters. We recognize nothing, we understand nothing. But Catherine wrote down the name of a restaurant for our lunch and we proceeded to try to find it. We held the name up to police officers and shop keepers who pointed the way for us, we got lost and rounded a block without needing to, and we stood in front of the restaurant trying to match what Catherine had written with the sign. I am sure we are too funny, and I hope that our ignorance does not offend.

This time the menu, which looked like a very thick children’s book, had pictures of dishes and descriptions in Chinese. It was easy to find the broccoli and tiny sweet onions, but many of the dishes, especially meat dishes were not recognizable to us from the pictures. In our in-country packet we received a menu-like page which listed typical dishes in Chinese and English. Luckily, I had taken this and we pointed to the translation for shredded pork with ginger, rice, tea, and beer. Success! And the food was very good. So far, the Chinese who did not immigrate to America can compete with their American counterparts. Some of the tastes are a bit different, but we are enjoying it.

After lunch and a quick lay down, we went to the Acrobatic Show. Very kitschy, very touristy, but lots of fun. Yes, 15 girls ride a single bicycle (ShaDiamon we thought of you!), 6 men somersault and handspring though tiny hoops, young girls bend and twist in some ways that is almost unimaginable in light of bones and bending body parts which usually bend in one direction, and people balance on top of each other in ever more dangerous combinations. Again, this was entertained designed for the imperial court, and it is not hard to imagine troupes of acrobats vying for the attention and favor of an Emperor, his ladies, and children with ever more exciting and dangerous displays. We are the beneficiaries.

Interestingly, these are people of talent for bending and balance, not actors or performers in a dramatic sense. They are well choreographed, but fluid and beautiful movement lacks passion. Of course, the concentration and discipline and team work are astounding. The old director in me wanted to see what could be created with the acrobatic talent and a passion for acting or dramatic dance.

The exception to this lack of dramatic talent was three huge doggies, each of which is made up of two men. The dog’s faces are lion dogs – not too different from our Latkah – Pekes with noses. I could have watched them all nght! They pranced and paraded like our Latkah, shook themselves, scratched themselves. Rolled over like dogs, but did tumbling tricks that Latkah would have great difficulty with. The children laughed hard and we applauded over and over for them.

Children. They are everywhere. Dressed and held, pampered and care for. And I, at least stare at them in particular. Which one moves like Julia? Did she look like this as a baby? Or that when she first learned to walk? Did she fall asleep like that one on her foster mother’s shoulder?

A word about our group. We are beginning the bonding process. I cannot detach myself sufficiently to see whether we radiate a common aura, but I imagine that we do. Some will become parents for the first time, some are adding to their families. All of them are excited and a bit tense and scared. It is very nice to have a group to bounce off of. We vibrate on the same scale. We have an understood harmony. They all are excited for us as well and look forward to our five year old. They worry for us and we for them. This journey is not an easy one, and I am amazed at those who are traveling outside the USA for the first time to become parents. For us, this journey is an incredible treat and Beijing continues to feel like another city to attach to, but for a first time traveler, who possibly has never even been to NYC, I wonder how it makes sense to them. No matter, they are here for their daughters and they are soaking up Chinese culture and place like sponges. I am proud to be part of this group.

posted by Suz @ 9:44 AM 0 comments

Beijing -- Day 1 -- We made it!

Yes, indeed, we made it. Not that we did much more than get up early and get on a plane and sit for a very long time. Still, we are in China!!

Marcia and Matthew picked us up at 4:15 on Thursady morning and got us and our luggage to the airpost. Once we were checked in, we started meeting out travel group. When we arrived in Newark, we met more. Suddenly, from being one of a very few people who you might know personally who are getting ready to adopt, there is a mob of adopters who are all carrying bottles and diapers -- even though we are not carrying those things.

David, Ches, and I were able to sit together on the plane but because we bought tickets so late the only possibliity for seats was a row that had no window. We had no touch with what was going on outside which was pretty bizaar. Cheshire slept for most of the flights, I slept some (Exhausted now), and David dozed slightly. Hopefully, we will all get a good sleep tonight to start our touring tomorrow.

We are staying at a very posh hotel -- good bathtub. Tomorrow we tour Beijing sights with the 6 other famlies who will travel to JiangXi province with us for our kids.

So far Beijing does not feel foreign -- okay, we don't speak any Chinese -- but we came in from the airport to the hotel on very recognizable high ways. There are lots of tall buildings and an incredible amount of building in preparation for the 2008 Olympics.

We landed just before 2 in the afternoon (on Friday) and finished our preliminaries very quickly. Our guides -- Jeannie & Catherine -- were waiting for us and put us on a bus. As we traveled into the city, they gave us the lay of the land. Sounded very much like a Sycamore School Band trip. We have very few decisions to make.

The sky is grey, the very air is grey. Lots of polution, but the temperature is not bad.

We were free tonight and ate in our first Chinese restaurant. After they seated us, we had three of the wait staff hover above us as we examined the single menu. It had pictures of the dishes and translations, but we were not interesed in much of the food -- pig snout, cow elbow, and fish intestines. The tofu dish was very spicy and very good, and a greens dish with peanut sauce was also great. Still, it was very strange having them stand over us until we made our choices.

We received some information about ZhiKuang but the only new information was that she is an active child, but sometimes pushes kids or takes toys from others. Our work may be cut out for us.

I feel like I am just babbling, trying to say something but not really articulate at all. I expect it will be better after a night's sleep.

From what I see of China, the people have generous hearts and good minds.

Suzanne

posted by Suz @ 6:57 AM 2 comments

saddnesses

As I was traveling home tonight I felt three saddnesses. Things that I have read about but didn't really relate to until tonight. I was very sad for ZhiKuang's first mother, remembering that all she could do for her daughter was to write her date of birth on a single slip of paper. Unless she knows where ZhiKuang is fostered, she has not even had the pleasure of the pictures that I have stared at since March. I am sad for her second mother, the foster mother who is just a week will lose the baby girl that she has raised since she was a week old. I hope that she had found some way to hide an address among ZhiKuang's clothes or stuck in a book that they are returning to me, so that we can stay in touch with her and share a little of what will come after next week for ZhiKuang. And I am sad that I, her third mother, has missed my darling daughter's beginnings and growings. But I will see her future, so my saddness is small.

posted by Suz @ 12:12 AM 2 comments