Steps and the good cutting hand
Yesterday, ummm. One step forward; how many in reverse? Julia had a splendid day in school – followed directions, lined up, did well in the playground, did a good job at cutting a drawing of a school bus, and she was well praised for the cutting work. Mrs. Levine said that apart from her language skills, she is no more behind than kids who were never exposed to learning before they attended school. This is no great compliment but it is no great insult either. She did throw her shoes once but it was just once. There is no more talk about putting her in pre-K, and Mrs. Levine and Julia's teachers seem pretty sure that she will do fine in kindergarten.
Then we went to Marcia’s house (Matthew had the day off and Marcia decided to stay home). We had fun being stay at home moms for the day – having lunch together and making carmel apples. Julia played with Matthew and by her self with a set of tinker toys and ate lunch well. It was delightful. (She did get knocked down by Sarah, the dog, when we first came in but she recovered quickly from that.)
When we returned home, I had wanted to do some gardening or baking but felt this cold pressing down on me and I really didn’t want to do anything. I was puttering in the kitchen when Julia went upstairs by herself. She has been doing this – going to her own room at times alone – and as long as I can hear her, I don’t worry. I could hear her banging around for a little while and then heard her coming down the stairs. She came to me to show me what she had done and I saw her Bitty Baby doll all cut up. Julia had cut up the soft body and it was empty of stuffing. I tried not to react but I was pretty horrified. We went upstairs to see what she had done. On the hall floor was scraps of cotton used to stuff the doll. Most of the cotton was in the bathroom trash can. She seemed to be perplexed as to my reaction and I was scared to react in any real way. Truthfully, I was appalled. So okay, this was the only expensive toy that we have bought and I am still cheap enough to feel very badly that she had mangled our gift to her. But more than economics, I am a doll girl. I loved dolls as a kid and I still have such a fondness for them. AND my Julia, who appears to also love her doll, cut up a doll! It kind of scared me. No, it did scare me. What next? How could I allow her to be alone for even an instant? What else would she do? I needed a deep breath and a clear head. I needed someone else to be there and judge what had gone on. I was able to tell her, rather calmly, I think, that this was not good behavior and she was not a good girl when she did this. (She knows what a good girl is, and is very proud when we tell her she is a good girl. We use to make the distinction for Cheshire between good girl and good behavior, but right now that distinction is a bit too much for Julia.) She was not a good girl when she cut up her doll. I gathered up the cotton and tried to stuff it back into the body. Silly that, the body is too cut up to sew together, and when I have the doll fixed, they will re-stuff it I am sure. But it was something to do. Then we went into my room and put the doll on a high shelf.
Julia did not cut the doll’s body out of anger or in defiance – at least it doesn’t seem so. To me, destroying a doll is such a major thing, but what is it to her? I had to think about that for awhile. I called and talked to David. How different was it from examining a clock, taking apart of machine? I did not punish Julia for this because I was not sure that there was anything to punish her for. Yes, destroying property, but what does she know of property. I was upset that she was not upset; did not seem to realize that she did anything wrong. Umm, we have so much work.
Yes, one step forward and another some other way.
7 weeks home
_
We are now 7 weeks home and this has been in pretty eventful week. Julia has been eating words! For a little more than an week, Julia has exploded with vocabulary. She is using more English words every day and looks for the names of things. She uses mostly nouns but there are a few verbs and adjectives thrown in. She is also looking to me to supply words to her when we are doing are flash cards and also during our daily round. She is also counting to 10 all by herself and makes some connection between the numbers and what they mean. Julia is singing the alphabet song although she is missing many of the letters. She plays with her alphabet toy very often although she is far too interested in the letters, W, Q, X, and Z. It’s funny that she picks the letter least used in our words.
Julia had a good report from school when they went to see the play last week and another good report on Wednesday. I saw a vast improvement in her behavior on Saturday when we went to Chinese school. She sat at the table she was supposed to, she tried to do the craft, and went to the carpet when it was time to sing together. She was much calmer and more willing to be quiet. Actually, at Chinese school, Julia is in a class with 3-4 year old kids. Lots of the kids had trouble on Saturday and I got to see many of the behaviors that we see in Julia. Her participation in Chinese dance class was almost incredible. Okay, she did not do everything she was told, but she also did not run around the room and scream like a banshee! Really, she made an attempt to listen and follow directions. And hugged the teacher at the end of class.
We finally found the show Sagwa on PBS. It is based on the Amy Tan book of the same name and is about a family of cats during ancient times in China. In the show, they include a few Chinese words, actually very few and very easy ones, but Julia seemed to be enchanted. We will tape a few episodes to play for her from time to time.
We visited the federal court in Indy last Thursday. It was a very successful visit. Julia met lots of people, mostly a few at a time, and was her charming self. She is a social being, and although I am not ready to have a house party to introduce her to lots of friends yet, she is ready for a little more socializing. She does need some extra holding and cuddling when we do new things but in this regard she is not so different from other 5 year olds.
We did shopping for Thanksgiving baking supplies yesterday and most of it went well. Julia loves to get the plastic bags in the produce department and open them to put the vegies and fruits inside. She does love to help. I wonder if she is trying to insure her place with us, or whether helping is just in her nature coming from her training at the orphanage. She did have a small (but loud) tantrum at Krogers when I refused to buy a Halloween cake. She wailed and screamed through a few aisles, but I was determined not to leave, not to let her hit or kick me, and to move through the situation. I kept talking to her, asking for her help, and ignoring the sympathetic or less-than-friendly looks from my fellow shoppers. It worked. It was a short tantrum, and Julia returned to her cheery mood quickly when it was over.
We had another longer tantrum on Saturday. She had worn her Halloween costume to Chinese school during the morning but needed to take it off to go outside in the afternoon. I expected the reaction, and so prepared lunch, set up clothes, and set up rewards for Julia. She cried when we took the princess dress off, and was very angry. I took her on the couch and held her like a baby, making sure that she could not hurt me with her hands or feet. Then crying and resisting went on for awhile – I think about 20 minutes but it is hard to estimate time when she is like this – but I kept talking to her – telling her that I loved her, that it was hard to give up such a pretty dress for the day, that she would wear it again on Tuesday, and that she was a great kid. She stopped resisting and just cried for some time, and then was ready to be put down. She went to her room for a few minutes, picked out some clothes, and brought them downstairs to put on.
Today, she was very willing to go to school. Putting on tights is still not her favorite but I find that if I bring them downstairs and only put them on after breakfast, she does better. We got to school, she wanted to take off her sweater, I said no, we walked to the door, and some of the kids from her class were getting off the bus. They greeted her, as did Mrs. Levine, and Julia skipped into school with no look back. I am looking forward to a good week. 
more and more and more
What a rough day yesterday. I am not sure why having a teacher tell me that Julia might not belong in kindergarten right now was so upsetting. It threw me into a funk for the entire day. All I can figure is that I felt that my carefully crafted plan – 3 months off from work to settle Julia into our lives, a good school, full day kindergarten after the new year, and a happy family visiting Cheshire for Christmas – was dissolving before my eyes. All I could think of was that I had less than a month to get this right and how was I going to do that if Julia was not settled!
Actually Julia did not have a terrible day. Yes, school was tough yesterday. She is more comfortable there and so she wants to take charge, and anyone standing in the way of that will feel her rage. We went home after school and just stayed inside and worked and played. She loves going to our dirty basement and uncovering old stuff that is much more interesting than her clean toys. I did wash and ironed napkins. Julia discovered the spray bottle that I use to spray the cotton linens that I iron. I showed her how to spray the napkins before I ironed them and she had a good time helping. She also sprayed herself by mistake in the face and then had even a better time helping and getting wet. And we had a chance to talk about wet and dry.
We sorted her toys, putting all the doll clothes of any size in one box, putting games in another box, and putting some very simple board books in each room of the house. Julia loves order and loved deciding which book belongs in which room. We also played with the magnetic dolls and clothes that Claudia brought over on Sunday (Thank you Claudia, for the shower of gifts! She loves the Mexican dolls too, although she wants to take off their clothes. Confusing to have some dolls whose clothes come off and some that don’t). We changed the clothes of the two flat magnetic dolls over and over and over and by the end even my old paperdoll-loving self was satisfied.
When I was cooking, I cut the acorn squash in half and wanted to see if she could clean out the seeds, etc from the center. I put the compost container on the floor and gave Julia a tablespoon. She set to work, squatting down, cleaning the squash, picking up any seeds that fell on the floor and getting a towel to clean up any mess that she made. We have not discovered the range of her skills and competence.
But back to my own problems of the day. I wrote of what happened in school on my yahoo message boards and received three great answers. The messages forced me to think about all the changes that keep on coming – a winter coat that someone is always telling her to keep on or take off no matter if she is hot or cold, leaves falling off trees and the shape of our backyard changing with the seasons, days off from school and weekends when schedules are completely different, to name three current changes. They are also expecting her to act as if she had always been at school after only two weeks doing the full 2.5 hour session.
Yes, they are expecting too much too soon. They either need more patience or we need to find a better situation for Julia. The idea drove me nuts yesterday.
I woke up this morning with lots of thoughts. First, that Julia is doing really great. She is practicing her English constantly, even going out of her way to tell us that things she sees look like words she is learning about, she has skills (like cleaning the squash) that she cannot tell us about yet, and her tantrums and rages are getting a lot less at home. Second, that I am not going to change her out of kindergarten until the term break. I have to have a place for her to go and have worked on transitioning her to that place if that is the appropriate thing to do. Three, there is the Park View Preschool the Matthew went to just around our corner and loved. It is a small program with lots of personal attention. I will check them out.
Julia’s class went to a play today – talk about lack of regular activity. The note that went home said to prepare the children to have good performance manners. Well, we did talk about it. What she understood is another story. I said I would pick her up at any time if her behavior deteriorated. It’s 9:45, and so far no call. I do think that the kindergarten Julia is going to is a good place, and I believe that the teachers and administrators are saying what they say out of concern for my child. We may all just need to re-tool.
A new favorite picture
This is so much my girl -- climbing, looking to the next thing, giving such blinding bright smiles to the world, determined to be herself.
Today, this morning was tough. Julia is home 6 weeks and I’ve heard from other parents that the 6-8 week time period is very frustrating. What I see is that Julia is fitting into our lives and has become pretty comfortable in our home. She is coming to us for help and working hard at communication, although so many times, she does not succeed in tell us what she wants to. She looks to us for guidance – as we go over flashcard words, she now looks at me when she doesn’t remember a word. And she cuddles with us, she wants us to pick her up for hugs, she runs to us when we’ve been gone for any amount of time, and during meals she takes both our hands or wants to hug both of us at the same time. Julia is trusting us more – when I mentioned that her hair needed washing the other night, she willingly took out her pigtail elastics sure that I will put them back in the next day. For all this, she tests us to the limit – grabbing things off tables that she has been told not to touch, pushing buttons she has repeatedly been told not to, threatening to turn on the stove., being mean to her dolls or the dog This morning after talking about school and acting excited about going back to school, she repeatedly sat on the ground refusing to move as we made our way from the car to the school door. We did our regular drill of her pulling, my allowing her to go to the ground and waiting for her to be ready to move, until Mrs. Levin came up to her and put her on her feet and said it was time to go in. Julia resisted, but Mrs. Levin was insistent. She told me to say good-by and they went in. I often feel like the dotting mother who others feel is coddling my little girl but of course, it is more complicated than that. The school has my cell phone number and can call if they can’t deal with her. Only once have they used it. I feel so badly that Julia has the need to test and re-test. I wish there was a way for her to know that we are forever and no matter what. She needs more language and more experience with us and in the short run nothing but time will bring that.
Sunday, 21 October 2006
These days, I am so thankful that Cheshire was such a stubborn, opinionated child. If she wasn’t, I’d have no idea what to do with this stubborn, opinionated kid! Julia can be so picky and difficult about clothes and her hair and where she goes and how she gets there. Also about her toys. She is really so much like Cheshire that it almost makes me believe that we did get the kid that was perfect for our family. She hasn’t told me to stop singing when she is singing (like Ches used to do when she was about 5) but I am waiting for that.
Julia loves sneaking into Cheshire’s room and admiring herself in the big mirror. She wants to investigate all the little things in drawers and on the top of the vanity. I try to keep the room off limits to her, but she is a good sneak. We were at the zoo on Friday ( I had planned an excursion to the art museum but when we pulled into the parking lot of the museum, she started naming animals and I decided that she thought we were at the zoo – plantings out front are similar. So, we went to the zoo.). Once there we found out they were having a Halloween festival and giving out candy in the Plains area. The zoo was crowded with kids in costumes and Julia was very interested. At times Julia called out "Beautiful" to those in costumes. She collected her candy and I let her eat one piece. Then she managed to sneak another three or four pieces.
On Tuesday, I finally gave Julia the Bitty Baby that traveled to China and back with us, and she loves it. The moving eyes no longer scare her. She changed clothes over and over and didn’t treat it as badly as she had in China. She also received a smaller baby doll from Toby. And now she has a Mei-Mei and a Jei-Jei of dolls. She decided this and when she did she went to our picture place and had me take down a picture of Cheshire for her to kiss. Actually, she has done this before. We have kissed many of Cheshire’s pictures, and has heard the names of her extended family and friends.
On Wednesday, we had a challenging time putting beads away. Julia had spilled a rather large tray of beads on the living room floor (this kid can string beads!) while I was in the next room vacuuming. When I saw what she had done, I got down ready to help her pick up the beads and put them into the tray again. She refused to help, and kept on refusing when I took away her necklaces, her hair clips, and her pigtail holders (taking away important things usually work with her). She was willing to lay on the floor and cry but not to pick up a single bead. I decided to stop asking her to do anything. I finished my vacuuming, and took out a paint can to paint. Julia and I are working on painting skills. I have an old mirror that I am re-doing for her room. Julia is working on a wooden bird house. I would not let her paint and put her back in the living room to do her cleaning up. I did not respond to her calls or cries for at least 5 minutes (felt like hours!), and eventually she became very quiet and I could hear her working. In a little while she came to where I was painting and said, "All Done!" And she was! She had put all the beads away and closed the tray. The kid is really competent. Julia was then extremely compliant for at least an hour or so (thank god!). I praised her accordingly. Oh, and also gave back her clips, elastics and jewelry.
We also had a brief "conversation" yesterday. She called "Mommy" (big improvement over a scream or "Hello"), and pointed to the kitchen closet where we keep the cups. She said "please" and I opened the cabinet. I pointed to a glass and she shook her head no; I pointed to a cup and she shook her head yes. I took out the cup, and she pulled me to the frig and tried to open the door. I opened it with her and she pointed to the milk and tried to say it. It came out like mush or meel, but I knew what she wanted. I took out the milk, poured some in the cup and gave it to her. She said "Che-che" and had a good drink. Communication!!!
During the week, I went to Panera’s (bread store and cafe), which is about 5 minutes from Julia’s school and has free internet, to catch up on email and phone calls. Three days, last week, she finished the kindergarten session without my intervention.
Big news from Thursday -- Julia has a favorite book!!! It is "Oh Dear" and about a boy looking all over a farm to find eggs for his breakfast. Very simple, but she picked it out to read and was very happy as we read each page. Oh Dear today, Shakespear. tomorrow!
And although the week in school (with an aide, not me) was spotty with her behavior very challenging, Julia was attentive and obedient during music class! She sat in her spot, listened, and tried to do everything (EVERYTHING!) the music teach asked for.
David and I have given into exhaustion and we are now going upstairs to bed almost as soon as Julia settles down for the night. We’ve taken a tv up to our room and we try to watch a little before succumbing to sleep. It is going to be awhile before I finish a book club book on time. These posts are also getting to sound pretty cobbled together – no flow at all! Well, at times now they are pieces of emails I’ve sent or the short paragraphs are all I’m capable of getting out. Who reads stuff over and parents a spicy dragon? But, most importantly, I am still getting something down.
Sunday, 15 October 2005
I have had trouble keeping up with this journal this week. Julia has done so many more things than I have written, and has been so much more frustrating! We have had a quiet weekend, staying close to home and seeing no one in particular. David and I are tired, there never seems to be enough hours to sleep. Julia is testing us in every way she can, and sometimes we are frustrated with our uphill battle.
Julia and I went to Chinese class on Saturday. Her behavior was not good. She would not sit in the class or do what was asked – singing together, sitting to do an exercise, or repeating words. I tried to keep her sitting in her chair and she slapped me roundly in the face. The room went silent for a moment and other parents gasped. I took her out of the room and she cried and then fussed in another room. We tried going back to the classroom each time Julia calmed down but it took four or five attempts before we made it back in. We only had about 15 minutes of the class left but we stayed for it. I asked the teacher, also named Julia, if she minded Julia’s behavior and told her that I understood if she didn’t want to have her in the class, but she assured me that Julia was welcomed and that this would pass. The other parents have been very welcoming and have not complained about Julia’s behavior. Julia liked the dance lesson, and although she did not follow all of the teacher’s instructions she responded to the music and had a good time.
After the lesson, the teacher tried speaking to Julia in Chinese. She used both Mandarin and Cantonese, and a few dialects. Julia answered her questions and talked to her some. The teacher told me that Julia used words in both Mandarin and Cantonese and had a strong accent. No wonder no one speaking a single language understands her!
This afternoon we went to the JCC to swim – finally, they finished the refurbishment of the indoor pool. We have not been there with Julia in about two weeks, and Julia was overjoyed to be there. She kept saying thank you, thank you, in Chinese. She loved the water and splashed about in water over her head. She went underwater several times, sometimes by mistake when she was squirming about and sometimes on purpose. JCC had swimming lessons starting next weekend. I think we will enroll her. One disturbing thing. When we were in the pool, Julia tried to get the attention of any grownup around including a lifeguard teaching another child. She yelled, called out, and splashed. I wonder if this behavior will rear its head in school.
Julia is using more and more words – "so happy," "oh, dear," baby, car, bus, truck, food, chicken, lots of animal names and what the animals say. She is learning the songs on one of the Chinese DVDs. She tries to sing them throughout the day. She is also learning Jingle Bells because it is one of the songs that her bear plays. She sings, "Jee-angle Bials" which is cute and funny, and she also sings "Babi Shalooma" (Baby Baluga!). We figure that her pronunciation is filtered through Chinese ears. Most words have added syllables – usually adding that schwa sound after a hard consonant. So Tiger becomes ti-ge-ger and friend becomes frien-de.
We painted some today – I doing a mirror frame for her room and Julia painting a bird house. She is reckless and unthinking – not careful or hesitant at all. I tell her to put on the tip of her brush in the paint, and she plunges the entire brush into the can of paint. She puts paint on the house and also on her leg and her nails.
Although Julia will say that she is Julia or Bye-Bye or A-Bye, she does not answer to her name when she is called. I usually have to call her many times to get her attention. I am not sure why this is. I am pretty sure that her hearing is fine. I don’t know if anyone ever called her individually, or if she doesn’t want to give into me direction when I call.
Julia put toys away tonight that go in the kitchen basket without an tantrum. She needed some prodding and coaxing but she gathered up the toys she had spread around the room. She understood what was said to her as well.
October 12, 2006
Tonight, before getting into the bath Julia A-Bye took out the elastics in her four little pig tails and motioned to me that she wanted her hair washed. This is the first time she has voluntarily taken down her pig tails which have been the subject of many, many screams, tears, and tantrums. Hair has been a challenge since we met Julia. The first thing she did with stickers and elastics was to put them in her hair and in the hair of her stuffed toys. She wanted to be decorated and each time a clip, sticker, or elastic fell out of her hair or whenever she felt that the pig tails were not in her hair properly, she insisted they be redone. My take on this is not that she is finished with pig tails but that she trusts that I will put her elastics back into her hair. Let’s hope that is what she is perceiving and thinking.
After her bath, she left her hair alone while Lisa T visited us. Julia’s hair looked great! David later took her to bed and had to put two pig tails in. Well, maybe she does trust us.
Today, her volunteer aid told me that Julia hit and pinched her. I told her that we are dealing with this as well and we agreed that we should both do time-ins (not leaving the child alone in a space) and both complain about the pain of the "injury." Julia resorts to hitting, pinching, trying to bite, and scratching a lot. Frustration and anger and whenever she doesn’t get her way. This behavior ebbs and flows from day to day and from hour to hour. Right now I see no other pattern except that Julia rages when she does not get what she wants and during transitions. But there are times when she transitions without anger. I am not sure if there is any other reasons, hints, or clues.
Interesting for me – when Cheshire was this age, any criticism of her behavior felt like a direct condemnation of my parenting skills. Okay, just a little exaggeration, but I would feel the censure. With Julia, I am so much calmer. Maybe it is age, maybe it is because I had nothing to do with her rearing up to this time. I know there will be a point when Julia is a reflection of the life we are living with her, but right now she is so much herself.
Note: I erased two pictures of Julia in the bath on the advice of a prosecutor friend of mine. Thank you, Robin. However, I was very sad to do that.
Changes, mostly as in clothes
October 10, 2006
Yesterday, Julia took two very big steps! First, she was willing to put on a dress that was not with us in China! She did not do this in the morning but before we went out to dinner around super time. We gave her lots of praise and complements and hopefully she will be willing to wear her fall and winter dresses as the weather gets colder.
Second, we visited with one of David’s work colleagues in her home. It was a celebration of Sukkot with an outside meal and later singing. There are three kids in the family with a 10 year old daughter who was willing to play and spend lots of time with Julia. They had a wonderful time with Barbie dolls and many, many changes of clothes. Julia ate a good dinner, mostly from the laps of our hosts and was very charming to everyone.
It was cold this morning and Julia needed warmer clothes. She and David dressed her and when I woke up I found her in a summer skirt, short sleeved shirt, socks and sneakers. After David went to work I tried to tempt Julia into changing into something heavier. She refused and I was not sure how we were going to get to school that morning. Then I left her and got ready to leave. I brought a change of clothes to the first floor and called Julia to come downstairs. Then we went and stood out on the front porch. It was a beautiful day, but it was cold. She started doing a cold "dance" and I suggested that we go in and put something on her legs. She put on heavy tights, and went out again. We repeated the same with a long sleeve shirt. She even put on her jeans jacket but would not change her skirt. So she went to school with a summer skirt but warm on the top and bottom.
The next day, the 11th, Julia picked out a new dress to wear. Ya-hoo! She is still picky about clothes, but we are beyond the summer dresses of China.
And what good is a new dress with puddles to splash in. It is amazing to watch her do anything new. Julia is impressed and delighted by very simple things, including splashing in driveway puddles. What joy!
Julia Bye-Bye is home a month tomorrow!
My sweet girl.
School & words
Conversations overheard at kindergarten:
Blond Girl: "Julia doesn't talk English."
Boy: "What does she talk?"
Blond Girl: "Chinese."
Boy: "Oh. Ola!"
Steven: "Where is she from?"
Kenna: "China."
Steven: "Where is that?"
Kenna: "Somewhere in Hawaii."
We will be visiting Julia's school each day this week and next. The teachers say that Julia is improving. She knows no procedure -- doesn't know about lines, or sitting in reading circle, or taking turns, or going to the bathroom at a particular time, or waiting, or listening. But she is willing and wants to be with the kids in her class.
More words today -- table, bug, frog, alligator, hosta. Tonight, we watched a few scenes of the movie Babe and Julia became very excited when she heard words that she knew. She repeated the words she heard. She also comments freely during the movie. Oh, I wish I knew what she was saying.
October 2, 2006 School, blood, & sleep
Today, Monday, brings more challenges. Julia and I went to her school for the morning session minus about 45 minutes. We went to the classroom where she will be placed. She sat in the back with me for a few minutes but very soon went to join the other kids at the front of the room. The children were doing different things in small groups waiting for the teacher to call them together for a morning meeting. Julia tried to get the attention of a few kids, although there were two girls who tried to get hers. I wonder if Julia was trying to gain the attention of the teacher, or if she wanted the attention of one of the children.
Julia went to the floor a few times, crying or just laying down. I went to her twice but she was fine. I let the teacher deal with it after that. Julia sat with the kids and said "Hi" and "Hello" a number of times. She also listened at times.
We went to the bathroom with the other kids and then went outside. It was then that the administrator of the school joined us and took Julia by the hand and directed her some. Julia responded to Mrs. Levine, and I think Julia tried to do as she was directed. We will go back to the school tomorrow, and try another day.
After lunch, we went to Methodist Hospital and had Julia’s blood drawn. The whole process of registering, waiting, and having the blood drawn and a TB test took only an hour, but that was long enough. The very calm and efficient nurses or techs drew 7 vials of blood, but Julia did not protest until the blood draw was finished and the needle for the TB test came out. Then she howled and I couldn’t blame her.
Julia’s diet is slowly becoming more varied. She loves sweet potatoes and broiled salmon. I made bok choi with garlic and onions which she liked and she can put away a grownup sized salad without trouble. We had tuna fish salad for lunch today. Our only problem is drinks. Julia is not quite drinking enough unless the day is hot and she drinks water. She drinks a little milk and sips of juice.
Tonight, we had a tough time putting Julia to bed. This is two tough nights in a row. It seems that whenever Julia moves forward a step or two, she has a hard night. She did not get to sleep until 9:30 tonight and that only after she cried herself to sleep.
September 30, 2006 – Update for last week in September
On Saturday, Julia was home for three weeks, and Friday was our one month anniversary of her adoption.
We made another visit to Julia’s school on Friday. We played in the playground when the pre-K kids were out. Julia mostly watched from the swings, but tried talking to some of the kids and ran around before we went in for lunch. At the lunch room, Julia wanted a tray like the other children and we had one. The meal was nothing that great but if it will help her feel more at home, we’ll let her eat the cafeteria food. A little boy who had been on the swings next to Julia came and sat with us for lunch. It was very cute.
When the K kids lined up to leave the lunch room, Julia got up and hugged a number of the kids. I think she is very excited about the possibility of going to school. We will go three times next week and hopefully, the school will arrange some testing and then language classes for her.
We spent time in the botanical garden. Julia enjoyed the shapes of gardens and the plants. She posed for many, many pictures. We had some mini-meltdowns, especially when she wanted something from the gift store and I said no. That kid can scream, and the voice echos!
On Thursday, Julia Bye-Bye started repeating words. On Saturday, she was very interested in repeating the names of animals. She even took out our flash cards and we found the animals to go over. She says "monkey" and "tiger" and "cat" and "dog". Her favorite is "lion" which she repeated over and over together with making the sound of a lion’s roar. She has added "how are you" to "hello." She also identifies triangles, squares, and circles all the time now – there are a lot of round tires on the road. We followed this up on Sunday with another visit to the zoo where a lion came very close to us and Julia greeted her and made roaring sounds as well as saying "lion." She also really enjoyed the monkeys (who are really baboons, but we are not picky).
On Friday, we went to the International Adoption Clinic at Riley Hospital and saw two lovely doctors who poked and prodded at Julia and made her laugh and have a good time. Julia will have additional tests and vaccinations, and the doctors will come up with recommendations for additional care. The docs thought that she was generally on target developmentally and suggested we hold off on any intelligence testing until she has some English. We that figured that would be what we would do – as we watch her in school and at home, we may not even feel the need to test. Also, her dialect makes it hard for her to understand good Mandarin, so testing now would not necessarily prove much.
After the doctor’s visit, we headed up to Chicago to clean out my apartment. We stayed overnight and packed up this morning. Julia was pretty good about the whole process although I imagine she had no idea of what was going on. She demanded to be held during some of the packing up in the van, and we tried to comply. She is so much more comfortable with us than she was just two weeks ago. I feel her relaxing into my body when I pick her up. Too bad she is 40 pounds.
Another thing we worked on this weekend was a kid’s scissor. Julia cut construction paper and drew with colors pencils on the pieces. I glued some of the pieces onto another piece of paper but she was not into doing that but she loved cutting.
I did not think she had ever done this before. She was tentative at first; she watched me very carefully when I showed her how to cut; and gained confidence was she practiced.
