Waiting for Hari

Madison -- 3

April 1, 2007

I am not sure whether we have found our house or not, but for the first time in this house hunt, we saw a house that could be our home. Funny how that is. We have looked at a dozen properties – some awful, some perfectly fine, but none that fit. None that we would not have to squeeze our lives into, expanding where we usually like small and cozy, and shrinking where we usually like to throw our arms out to dance.

Looking at a house is like trying on party dresses, something that I do not often do. Does the dress fit? Does it pass the ‘I can’t believe she is wearing that’ test? Will I recognize myself in the mirror with this on? Will I feel lovely with this on?

The fact that this house is part of a co-housing community is another very interesting part of the hunt. I have researched co-housing years ago but with no community in Indy, there was nothing to consider. This is an established community and seems to be run along almost family lines. People eat together twice a week, cooking in teams, ownership is along condominium terms with common space on one floor of a new building and all outside space. I have been thinking that I wanted a smaller garden space with this next house in order to move more into the community. With the house, we looked at today, we might have a small garden plot for vegies but no other exclusive space. I am sure I could weed and work on the common grounds, but there would be no private garden and I chafe just a little with that thought.

We met two members of the community, and liked both of them. There seems to be a good range of ages in the 18 households and a number of kids, but if any age dominates, it is an older one. Decisions are made by consensus which has the ring of challenge. Interestingly, there is a membership process that David will have to go through mostly without Julia and I. David has been skeptical of my desire to live in a community like this, but he is the one who will be living in Madison almost full time and the one who will have to get to know the members to see if we could fit in.

I don’t say this is a done deal, only that it is a real possibility.

The house is from the 20's and brick. It has a four-by-four feel - very sturdy and square – but there are three not four big rooms on each floor. The ceilings are tall and there is an expansiveness to the rooms, the Chi flows well in this space. There is a front porch that has been converted to three season space, a front hall, a living room with fireplace, a dining room divided from the living room by wood shelves and short fat columns (like in the Kawensky’s old house), and a kitchen which needs redoing on the first floor. The second floor has three bedrooms, all of good size and all with one closet – David and I will have to get another closet unit for our room. The bathroom is usable but really needs to be done over – I imagine I could be tiling by year’s end! The bathroom is large enough to do a separate tub and shower if we wanted that. There is also a walk up attic that was used for an office/bedroom space. It needs work as well, but it is a good space. It feels right, as if we entered and asked ‘are you my home?’ and it sang back a ‘yes’.

The community is built in a U-shape with the inside of the U a common garden space. There are two older houses – the one we looked at is a single family dwelling, another older and much larger home is divided into two dwellings, and three new buildings which contain 16 units of single floor or townhouse dwellings. Each family owns its own living space and a ‘share’ of the common space. In the curve of the U sits the building where the common house is located. That is a ground floor space with a great kitchen, a dining space, a small lounge, 2 kid spaces ( one with toys that reflect that the kids that use it are boys or non-frilly girls. Also, that the toys provided are not all plastic and television inspired which I like a lot), and two guest rooms.

We see a few more houses tomorrow in this whirlwind weekend trip before heading back to Indy at noon. My feeling of dread of never finding a new home has lifted some. This is not a dune deal by any means. David must feel comfortable with this kind of living arrangement, we have to meet the people and see if we want to share the large space with them and if they want to share it with us, and we have to see the parents here and how all of the people treat the kids of the community. Intellectually, I am sure that this type of living arrangement that we would thrive in, but we must now decide whether we want to be here and whether committing ourselves to a community of people is something that is right for the family right now.

Place just right?

Julia had a pretty good day, by the way. There was the five hours driving up; the short unpacking of stuff into David’s apartment, and the house hunt. She endured all. On our way up, she played with her dinos and people and very confidently told us that we were going to Madison. She ran around each house we saw, and really enjoyed the kids’ play room in the common house. She had gumbo for lunch and great Korean food for dinner. We will not run out of new restaurants to try for a long time in Madison. She hugged some of the people she met and ignored others. And way after her bedtime, she snuggled down in the middle of our bed and went to sleep.

posted by Suz @ 10:03 AM