Waiting for Hari

Sunday, 21 October 2006

These days, I am so thankful that Cheshire was such a stubborn, opinionated child. If she wasn’t, I’d have no idea what to do with this stubborn, opinionated kid! Julia can be so picky and difficult about clothes and her hair and where she goes and how she gets there. Also about her toys. She is really so much like Cheshire that it almost makes me believe that we did get the kid that was perfect for our family. She hasn’t told me to stop singing when she is singing (like Ches used to do when she was about 5) but I am waiting for that.


Julia loves sneaking into Cheshire’s room and admiring herself in the big mirror. She wants to investigate all the little things in drawers and on the top of the vanity. I try to keep the room off limits to her, but she is a good sneak. We were at the zoo on Friday ( I had planned an excursion to the art museum but when we pulled into the parking lot of the museum, she started naming animals and I decided that she thought we were at the zoo – plantings out front are similar. So, we went to the zoo.). Once there we found out they were having a Halloween festival and giving out candy in the Plains area. The zoo was crowded with kids in costumes and Julia was very interested. At times Julia called out "Beautiful" to those in costumes. She collected her candy and I let her eat one piece. Then she managed to sneak another three or four pieces.


On Tuesday, I finally gave Julia the Bitty Baby that traveled to China and back with us, and she loves it. The moving eyes no longer scare her. She changed clothes over and over and didn’t treat it as badly as she had in China. She also received a smaller baby doll from Toby. And now she has a Mei-Mei and a Jei-Jei of dolls. She decided this and when she did she went to our picture place and had me take down a picture of Cheshire for her to kiss. Actually, she has done this before. We have kissed many of Cheshire’s pictures, and has heard the names of her extended family and friends.

On Wednesday, we had a challenging time putting beads away. Julia had spilled a rather large tray of beads on the living room floor (this kid can string beads!) while I was in the next room vacuuming. When I saw what she had done, I got down ready to help her pick up the beads and put them into the tray again. She refused to help, and kept on refusing when I took away her necklaces, her hair clips, and her pigtail holders (taking away important things usually work with her). She was willing to lay on the floor and cry but not to pick up a single bead. I decided to stop asking her to do anything. I finished my vacuuming, and took out a paint can to paint. Julia and I are working on painting skills. I have an old mirror that I am re-doing for her room. Julia is working on a wooden bird house. I would not let her paint and put her back in the living room to do her cleaning up. I did not respond to her calls or cries for at least 5 minutes (felt like hours!), and eventually she became very quiet and I could hear her working. In a little while she came to where I was painting and said, "All Done!" And she was! She had put all the beads away and closed the tray. The kid is really competent. Julia was then extremely compliant for at least an hour or so (thank god!). I praised her accordingly. Oh, and also gave back her clips, elastics and jewelry.

We also had a brief "conversation" yesterday. She called "Mommy" (big improvement over a scream or "Hello"), and pointed to the kitchen closet where we keep the cups. She said "please" and I opened the cabinet. I pointed to a glass and she shook her head no; I pointed to a cup and she shook her head yes. I took out the cup, and she pulled me to the frig and tried to open the door. I opened it with her and she pointed to the milk and tried to say it. It came out like mush or meel, but I knew what she wanted. I took out the milk, poured some in the cup and gave it to her. She said "Che-che" and had a good drink. Communication!!!

During the week, I went to Panera’s (bread store and cafe), which is about 5 minutes from Julia’s school and has free internet, to catch up on email and phone calls. Three days, last week, she finished the kindergarten session without my intervention.

Big news from Thursday -- Julia has a favorite book!!! It is "Oh Dear" and about a boy looking all over a farm to find eggs for his breakfast. Very simple, but she picked it out to read and was very happy as we read each page. Oh Dear today, Shakespear. tomorrow!

And although the week in school (with an aide, not me) was spotty with her behavior very challenging, Julia was attentive and obedient during music class! She sat in her spot, listened, and tried to do everything (EVERYTHING!) the music teach asked for.

David and I have given into exhaustion and we are now going upstairs to bed almost as soon as Julia settles down for the night. We’ve taken a tv up to our room and we try to watch a little before succumbing to sleep. It is going to be awhile before I finish a book club book on time. These posts are also getting to sound pretty cobbled together – no flow at all! Well, at times now they are pieces of emails I’ve sent or the short paragraphs are all I’m capable of getting out. Who reads stuff over and parents a spicy dragon? But, most importantly, I am still getting something down. 

posted by Suz @ 9:05 AM