October 12, 2006
Tonight, before getting into the bath Julia A-Bye took out the elastics in her four little pig tails and motioned to me that she wanted her hair washed. This is the first time she has voluntarily taken down her pig tails which have been the subject of many, many screams, tears, and tantrums. Hair has been a challenge since we met Julia. The first thing she did with stickers and elastics was to put them in her hair and in the hair of her stuffed toys. She wanted to be decorated and each time a clip, sticker, or elastic fell out of her hair or whenever she felt that the pig tails were not in her hair properly, she insisted they be redone. My take on this is not that she is finished with pig tails but that she trusts that I will put her elastics back into her hair. Let’s hope that is what she is perceiving and thinking.
After her bath, she left her hair alone while Lisa T visited us. Julia’s hair looked great! David later took her to bed and had to put two pig tails in. Well, maybe she does trust us.
Today, her volunteer aid told me that Julia hit and pinched her. I told her that we are dealing with this as well and we agreed that we should both do time-ins (not leaving the child alone in a space) and both complain about the pain of the "injury." Julia resorts to hitting, pinching, trying to bite, and scratching a lot. Frustration and anger and whenever she doesn’t get her way. This behavior ebbs and flows from day to day and from hour to hour. Right now I see no other pattern except that Julia rages when she does not get what she wants and during transitions. But there are times when she transitions without anger. I am not sure if there is any other reasons, hints, or clues.
Interesting for me – when Cheshire was this age, any criticism of her behavior felt like a direct condemnation of my parenting skills. Okay, just a little exaggeration, but I would feel the censure. With Julia, I am so much calmer. Maybe it is age, maybe it is because I had nothing to do with her rearing up to this time. I know there will be a point when Julia is a reflection of the life we are living with her, but right now she is so much herself. 
Note: I erased two pictures of Julia in the bath on the advice of a prosecutor friend of mine. Thank you, Robin. However, I was very sad to do that.
posted by Suz @ 8:41 PM
3 Comments:
Suzanne
I was gone from my desk and then on vacation. Wanted to catch up on Julia's progress. Is she beginning to speak English a little more? It sounds like she is continuing to do better - perhaps when it gets a little colder she will want to wear pants.
She is really a cutie.
Marcia Fishman
hummm look whose necklace she is wearing ... does she sleep in my bed too??
Do we hear a little sibling rivalry, Miss Cheshire? ;-)
It's so great catching up with all of you. Please know that we continue to think of you all often.
Does Cheshire have a site where she journals her experiences? Let us know if she has a public one.
Our best to you all!
Traci & Family (Smith)
Post a Comment
<< Home