Waiting for Hari

Nanchang - - Wednesday & Thursday

I missed yesterday writing. I think David and I had a touch of food poison from a rather sketchy dinner we had the night before yesterday. We put Julia Bye-bye to bed about 8:30 last night and turned out the lights to let her fall asleep with the idea the we would get up again. None of us did. I woke up around midnight to take off my clothes and get under the covers. And we all slept through the night.

Today, we are all back to normal!

Julia is a dancer, a girly-girly who refuses to put pants or short on, a singer who performs for us, a very good eater, a sound sleeper, and a great hair stylist! She is all physical right now. She has no interest in sit-down toys or games. She will color for a few minutes but prefers throwing her big beach ball or swimming or chasing pigeons. She has been dancing in front of the tv screen and we thought it was just because she could see herself, but this morning we turned on the tv as we were showering and dressing. Julia Bye-bye found a channel with dance instruction which she watched carefully and then got up and tried following the dancers. She has done this before.

And yes, we have turned on the tv in the morning. Never say never!

We bought her a dress today because I brought one dress and one skirt and they are both dirty. She refuses to put on pants or shorts and it is a battle I’ve never thought worth fighting. I expect that we will find more clothes when we get to Guangzhou. She loves pretty clothes. Really loves them. How does she know which are pretty? Her orphanage clothes are anything but pretty. TV or fashion genes?

We gave her tiny hair clips yesterday and stickers and she decorated her hair with both. Today we took out tiny hair elastics and she has two tiny pigtails that look like tiny horns on top of her head. We were at a park today – the only non-Chinese there – where people do Ti Chi, ballroom dancing, hearty singing of revolutionary song, playing of the inverted violin. Part of the part had kids rides and we did a few – dragon boats going in circles in water, a merry-go-round, and a big climbing gym. Julia Bye-bye enjoyed everything full out – wanting more and more. When we got to the climbing gym that we thought was going to be perfect for her, she didn’t want to wait for us to buy tickets. She pulled and whined and screamed and dropped to the ground. It was different from what she has done before. She was testing us and we had to say no. So we walked away with a screaming child while a nice sized group of older Chinese women watched. I don’t know if I gained or lost face in front of them. LOL After we walked away from the gym, and she finished her little tantrum, she was fine. I think better really.

As we walked through the park, people stared and I realized that Julia had her shoes on the wrong feet. I mentioned it to Cheshire, saying the people would think we were pretty green parents to put shoes on the wrong feet. Cheshire commented that no one was going to get to her shoes – people would have a hard time getting past the hair with about 20 little clips, heart shaped stickers, and little pigtails. I was so accustomed to this hair after 24 hours I had stopped thinking it unusual.

We’ve each had time alone with Julia. David and Cheshire went for massages this afternoon. Julia and I danced around the room, took pictures of her which she enjoyed, played with the big beach ball we brought, and blew bubbles. She is a joy to play with. We have very few words but she is interested in learning to count. She counts in Manderin or her dialect, and can sort of count from one to five in English. She seems to understand "wait," "food," and a few other words. We understand "Go," "Stop," "No," and "thank you." At times we wonder if she hopes we will learn Chinese if she just repeats the same things over and over again. So far, we know about the same amount of each others’ languages.

We seem to have one melt down a day. Usually at the end of the day and involving the change of clothing. She cries, screams, and gets a bit violent with hitting and trying to scratch me. I hold her when she lets me and let her go and sit by her when she won’t. She still stops crying when she needs to blow her nose, and then picks up again. She is tired, she is grieving, and the transition from day to night is really hard for her.

We went to the "famous" Nanchang pagoda yesterday. (Nanchang is not a city of sights.) It was built over 600 years ago, destroyed 27 times only to be rebuilt 28 times. The last time was in 1985 and we are grateful that they put in an elevator and a bit of air conditioning which were probably not part of the original design. With a wiggle worm of a child, it was impossible to read anything about this place, but it seems to have been built as a cultural and visitor center – there are gardens as well but we did not get to them in the stifling heat. On the top floor of the building, there was a small stage and we sat on benches to watch a short performance. A woman in a beautiful red Chinese robe sang, younger girls danced, and a small band made up of Chinese instruments played. It was very touristy but considering how un-touristy this town is, it was amazing that anyone was there. We watched with a number of Chinese people. Julia Bye-bye was enthralled by the show. Her eyes did not stray from the stage, she gasped as if it was magic and called out to the performers. After the show we went on stage to meet the performers. Julia was awestruck by the performers. JCC Broadway Camp here we go again.

About her name – it does seem to be Bye-bye, although not said as if someone was leaving. I will have to find a spelling for this pronunciation.

Julia also recognized Xaio Zhi Lan from the FTIA photo. We received back the single use camera we sent to the orphanage and we developed the pictures. They were taken during one or two days and are not very revealing, but every little bit of history we can gather for our Julia will be a good thing for her future. There is just one picture with her friends – Zhi Lan who she calls Meowa (like the cat sound but ending in an "a") and a boy she calls Na.

Another thing, after asking the questions many times about her foster home, the orphanage director told Catherine that Julia was fostered from 2 to 12 months during the building of a new orphanage. Then she was returned and has lived in the orphanage since that time. The children don’t attend school at the orphanage. There was also just a few children who are not infants.– not clear whether was 3 or 5. I hope the boy –Na – and any other older child at that orphanage gets to be adopted. The orphanage director asked to keep in contact and I will try to do this to encourage him to find homes for the older kids.

Tonight I went to a conference room to work on some of the last paperwork. When I returned to the room, I felt like I had missed Julia while I was away. The firs time to miss her. I am not completely in love yet, but the feelings are growing. I don’t perceive that we are necessarily special to her at this point. But she is happy to be with us and watches everything we do. We will catch her heart.

posted by Suz @ 7:16 PM