Waiting for Hari

Julia Bye-bye

Warning: I am exhausted and not proofing. Read at your own risk.

Xiao Zhi Kuang is now Julia ZhiKuang Buchko Schanker! The adoption is final in the eyes of China.

We started the day well. We woke up far too early and took showers. Julia also woke up – Cheshire says that it was me who woke everyone up – she looked around, like someone who is not sure if the previous day was a dream. She was happy to see us and put her arms up to be taken out of the crib. I put her on my bed with a small bowl of caraways and a tiny box of raisins. She ate them one by one, sharing pieces with anyone who was willing to hang with her for awhile.

I opened the drawer where I put her clothes to get something out for her. I took out shorts and the Hanna Andersen skirt I brought along. She immediately wanted the skirt!. She put on stripped underpants – she had none when she came to us – and she liked those. I put on white socks and cuffed them. She undid the cuffs and pulled the socks up to her kneed. I put a which shirt with heart on and tucked it into the skirt. Julia immediately pulled the shirt out of the skirt, pulled the shirt up to show her tummy, pulled the skirt up onto her chest – shades of Urchle– , pulled the shirt down over the skirt and pulled the skirt down a little bit. This is a process that she would repeat throughout the day to make her look right. Here I thought I would have at least a few months of dressing her as I liked, but NO, I have a second daughter who is a fashion arbiter just like the first one!

We went back to the Civil Affairs building and started the adoption procedure. This room was again full of babies and now parents with them. There must have been at least 40 families in a stuffy and hot, albeit large, room. Julia hated it for a good deal of the time. She was not craze about going into the room. Insisted on being held and carried everywhere which the orphanage director frowned upon and our backs cried out in pain. We were interviewed, gave our gifts to the Agency and the orphanage, handed over our remaining feed, and waited for everyone else to do the same. It was a long wait and Julia was the only girl of her age. (We did meat a family adopting a 12 year old who was extremely well behaved. It would have been very nice to chat with them and we did it for a short time, but was too busy running after Julia or keeping her from taking every baby toy in the room for herself. I had the feeling the other parents started out thinking she was very cute and later wished we would leave. It seemed like forever until we left, but Catherine and Cindy worked very hard to get us all finished up.

Next stop was the Notary Office which was a close as we got to a court. The Notary asked us quesitons including our education plan and asked us to promise to love and care for Julia always. We had no trouble at all saying a hearty yes to him. He shook our hands and declared her adopted.

Next stop was Walmart where other families shopped for baby stuff, David picked up more bottled water – we were going through a half gallon when there were 3 of us, more now. He bought banana which Julia is learning to say, and oranges which she loves.

Oh, oh, one thing about her name. We could not get her to answer to her name ZhiKuang saying it like JourKuong. We heard her say it! In the first office we went to when the official said her name. It sounded like ZiiCon, the Con like corn without the r. She would not answer to our attempts at that either. We had Catherine ask the orphanage director once again in another way about her name and what she was called in her foster home. This is the third time this question was asked in some form and this was the winner! She was called Bye-bye by her foster parents. We had wondered about this because when she looked in the mirror with her clothes on and when she saw herself she said Bye-bye. It is not quite the bye-bye she says when she leave somewhere. Once again, we are unable to pronounce it correctly. We are failing terrible at this tonal language thing. I can almost hear the difference but cannot reproduce the correct sounds. So Julia also does not answer to our called her Bye-bye but she does answer when a Chinese person says it.

We decided that because we need something to call her that she will respond to we might as well start using Julia. So we are saying Julia Bye-bye, and I think when we say it, our prounciation of Bye-bye is closer to correct. She said Julia tonight and although not responding to her name seems to be understanding that we are talking to her.

Ah, and pride in our kid’s achievements! Julia Bye-bye does say "meow" to indicate she needs to pee. She peed in the street right next to our bus – how many people can say that about their kid! And she had peed at various times and mostly in toilets throughout the day. That kid can pee! She is drinking a lot of water and some orange juice. She is also a wiz – okay couldn’t help that one – at the squatty toilet, pulling her panties down and her skirt up and wetting nothing! Our western tiolets are a bit of a challenge for her, but she is willing to use them with out help. No poop yet, but maybe tomorrow.

After our lunch, we went swimming in the pool. We changed in our room and Julia Bye-bye did not want to take off our skirt (I am wondering if we will be able to put on clean clothes on her tomorrow) and so we carried her suit to the pool We were alone there and David and I went in and swam around. Cheshire sat on the side with her. She was very excited but scared. Finally, after yelps and screams, she decided to join us. She took off her cloths, refused the bathing suit, put on her arm floaties and came to me in the pool. She was in the water for an hour and cried when we took her out. She kicked her legs and splashed. She put her face in the water and did not mind it getting wet. She wasn’t too crazy about having her hair wet.

After swimming, I thought she might nap but it didn’t happen. I wonder if the reports of her napping are true. We decided to go walking outside at about 4 and used the stroller provided to us by the hotel. Julia loved the stroller, she watched everything go by, sitting up straight and holding onto the front bar. It was very cute.

Well, I am bushed. I am going to close for tonight. Julia has a smaller melt down tonight and then was distractable. She spent about an hour, putting on and taking off kid jewelry from her bear. I’d love to give her Bitty Baby doll because I have some clothes that she could take off and put on and I think she’d love that, but she is still freaking over the moving eyes. She talks to us and to her toys. She was able to go to sleep, again in the crib, at about 8.

Yes, indeed, older adoption is not for the faint of heart; however, the challenge is nothing compared to our Julia Bye-bye.

posted by Suz @ 11:00 AM