Waiting for Hari

joy

I find it very hard to hold on to the idea that the universe will provide what is right and correct and not sink into despair when circumstances are adverse. I believe that holding on to joy and trusting in your own path with an upturned heart is vital to finding the right place, the next thing, what it is you should be doing.

A recent C story. C wanted so much to study abroad at Lady Margaret's Hall in Oxford next fall. She has the grades and she found a tutor who sounded very good for her. She applied, but found out right after she applied that there were no foreign student places at Lady Margaret's in the Fall. It seems that the brochure she had was somewhat confusing -- I might say, 'wrong' -- and it was clear in one part of the brochure that there were Fall places, but in another part of the brochure it did say that Lady Margaret's only hosted Spring foreign students. She was heart broken because she had devised a complex plan to make it all work out. She moaned and groaned on the phone. When she was done we talked though the circumstances and came up with a host of alternatives. I was not willing for her to give up. I felt that very strongly. We both started getting in touch with anyone we thought could help. I wrote to A and he put C in touch with some guy in some university, who put C in touch with a marvelous person at a Anglican Divinity School in the middle of Cambridge. It sounded like a perfect program for her to be in. It will be lots of trouble for her school-wise -- no credit at the Seminary so she will have to do courses this summer to make up for what she will not get in the fall, but she is on fire excited. I t was as if the universe was nudging her in the right direction, but there was no way of knowing that on the phone that night.

Even in the small things -- Like Zhi Kuang's name. I was so saddened when I found the meaning of the name Kuang, and I let the sadness stop my ideas about her name. Thank the gods for Ca who just let her imagination wander and found the dragon story!

I believe that a path is there. If there is an evil it might be the sadness we allow ourselves to fall into, a sadness that blinds us to what it laid out us. This is such a hard truth for me to hold on to. How can the secret of the universe be joy? Just maybe it is.

posted by Suz @ 10:59 PM