The sun is out today in Chicago. It is cold but I can almost smell the spring. Of course, it will snow three feet tonight!
I still have a shit-eating grin on my face at time because of our adoption decision. I want to put a time line on this blog. I have to figure it out. I walk around Chicago and Indianapolis and look at faces. I see Asian adult and wonder, 'is this what my daughter will look like?' But there are not many of those faces. Where will she see others like her. Sure, we will join the local FCC no matter where we are, but she will need to see faces that are like hers to be really comfortable in this new country of hers.
As a kid, I longed for people who were like me. People who stuttered. I never met them. I grew up believing that I was the only one, certainly the only one with problems like I had. Now certainly, being Chinese is not like stuttering, but the longing of those of one's own kind must be universal. At least for awhile.
In VietNam I had not the slightly longing for those of my own kind. I reveled in the strangness. I felt no different from those around me. At times, I was transparent to myself. That is too much to expect of a child. How will we teach her?
We start the homestudy tomorrow. We have worked on written questions and David has filled out the form. I hope it goes well and FAST! Right now my aim is to be ready by March 15 with the home study and as asap after that with the completed dossier. But I am sure it all depends on how soon the SW can see us and write up the draft home study. We haven't found this child yet, but I know she is waiting and I don't want her to wait any longer than necessary. I have found a mother's heart towards this one. Only inconsequently things, like her age, her face, her likes and dislikes, her needs, are missing. And they are almost nothing much.
posted by Suz @ 11:02 AM
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