Waiting for Hari

turtle days

There are moments that I believe that it will never happen - - that we will never finish this damned document gathering. What a mountain? I have no touch at all with the idea of a child at the end of this busy work – the certification and authentication is the worst. Going or mailing from office to office, waiting on endless lines to find out that you do not have one thing that was not in your instructions, and then waiting for the paper to come back to you. It is not about proving that you will be a good parent, but it might qualify you for some government job. In the midst of these feelings yesterday, C, a colleague at work noticed an adoption book on my desk, and asked if we were thinking about it. I think she expected a negative reply; I told her of our plans. And then, because I told her I also told M. But I was in one of these bureaucratic moods in which the connection between paper gathering and child is nil. Congratulations seemed very out of place – had I been offered a paper clip, I would have understood. Today, is different. I am gushy, again in love with the person I do not know. I am wondering where we should move to in Chicago. Feeling terribly at home in this city in general. How wonderful to live in it with a child. We will go to museums, take art classes and see ballets. I want to find a school, a home, and people who might speak to her in Chinese to see if we can keep her language. I worry about our handling hard issues, worry if she can’t learn English, worry that she will not like Chicago or school or even us. Worrying how C will handle have a home in Chicago. But these are the silly mother worries of a pregnancy, nothing serious.

Today, I went to the consulate in Chicago and waited in a long line to authenticate two documents. It was a test run and a good one. I now know that I need a copy of a picture id with me. I should come between 9-10:30 a.m. I expect to do another run when most of our documents are together, and then do a last run when our I-171 comes. Maybe I will expedite the last document, but only one! God, do I feel like a turtle.

posted by Suz @ 4:58 PM