Waiting for Hari

3 Sept 2006 -- White Swan Splendor

At Lucy’s restaurant the other night, we saw at least 40 Chinese babies and little kids, the White Swan is truly a White Stork with strollers careening around the halls and baby cries coming from every corner. We have met people from Ireland and Australia and Finland, and heard Italian, Spanish, French spoken. This is just two weeks in one year in the almost two dozen years that adoptions from China have taken place. There are Chinese girls all over the world who do not know their biological families but who have many, many, many little cousins in so many countries. We need an international sorority – oh, but include the boys as well! – so that these kids will have connections all over the world, family whenever and where ever they may need it. The Chinese take family relations and village kinship very seriously. This great "we" – those with Chinese children – should take our kinship very seriously also. We cannot give them ancestors, but we can provide them with roots dug deep in every corner of the world, so that they can use their full wing span and fly.

I spent some time tonight with a few members of our Jiangxi group. I was happy to travel with a group getting babies, happy to share the family making and have some interaction through the process, and I feel like we have stayed a bit to ourselves at times because Julia Bye-Bye is not the cooing baby that most of our group has, but despite our differences and any other artificial barriers we have put between us, we have bonded and attached with this very special group of people. We will see them again, we will stay in touch, we will travel to meet them and invite them to our home. We are lucky and blessed to be thrown together and to have found Julia’s "first cousins."

Stepping off the soap box now.

Under the never say never department – After writing yesterday that Julia had not had a meltdown in public, we had to forego the group dinner last night and carry our screaming, kicking child across the breadth of Shaimin Island to our room. We had Cow and Bridge take-out which David waited for and brought back for us. The Thai food was delicious and by the time David returned to our room, Julia was her happy cheerful self.

Julia had two meltdowns today, but when she comes out of them, she is her very charming self. She snuggled more tonight and also demanded more of our affection. She like to be fed at times even though she is quite independent at other times. We still share very few words. I think that we know as many of her words as she knows of ours. It becomes more frustrating for her, demanding more patience of us. Cheshire told me that she and David took Julia to the play room where two English speaking children of her age were playing. Julia tried to engage them but could not join into their chatting and play. Cheshire worried about how Julia would do when she gets home. I hope that there is a special friend for her among our young friends, or she meets someone at school who is interested in this very verbal, non-English speaker. I don’t want to rush the blossoming of this child, but I want to know that she will learn English and fit into our social structure.

After tonight we have five more nights in China. Most of our group will leave on Wednesday or Thursday but we will go on to spend three nights in Hong Kong. Last night, after Julia and David went to sleep, Cheshire and I took a walk around the island. Cheshire said that she wished we were going home on Wednesday and reluctantly, I agreed. The challenges of the day wore heavy on us and I could only see more struggle ahead until we got home and established some schedule for our little girl. While it is true that we cannot do day long tours or see any significant amount of Hong Kong, we can breathe in the city a bit, eat in a few more restaurants, swim in another pool, and learn just a little bit more. China, like our new daughter, needs time and patience to give us something in return. I find myself pliable, ready to become a willow for this new exploration. It makes me closer to myself, to what I have wanted to be than I have ever known.

We have received many emails and comments, and as our time here has gone on, I have not been able to respond to many at all. We are so happy to hear from friends and family. Thank you all for such generous support.

posted by Suz @ 10:30 PM