Waiting for Hari

2 Sept 06 -- Nanchang to Guangzhou

We left Nanchang today for Guangzhou and the White Swan Hotel. The White Swan which is nicknamed the White Stork these days is a lovely luxury hotel. Posh and stylish with pools and a breakfast buffet to die for and an indoor waterfall. It is on Shamin Island which is an tiny, somewhat exclusive enclave in the massive city of Guangzhou. Shamin Island was ceded to the British more than a century ago and became the foreign enclave for businessmen and foreign government officials. The old buildings on the island are painted stucco with white trim and look like the French Quarter of Hanoi and probably like the foreigner part of town in every country that endured some form of colonial occupation in the 1800's. I don’t know what went on here during the revolution, but when China opened again to foreigners in the 1980's, the White Swan was built and quickly became a popular destination for Westerners – Nixon stayed here on his trip to China, Queen Elizabeth was entertained here (Don’t know why they didn’t let her stay. LOL). On this island we push our stroller and shop in stores catering to adopting families or swim with our children and leave some of China behind. Some of what we saw in Nanchang.

Village life is the core of Chinese life even for those who have moved to the city. We visited a village about 25 minutes outside of Nanchang by bus – a little more than an hour and a half by bike. There are dirt paths throughout the village and buildings are old and crumbling, half built, or new, but even the new ones don’t have air conditioning. We did see electricity, televisions, and one computer. Water was pumped outside but a number of houses had their own pumps. Kitchens are rudimentary with sink, large hot plate, and sometimes a small refrigerator. Some people cooked outside, and I imagine there must be a communal bake or roasting house. There are communal toilets in a few places which are probably pits that are treated with chemicals. It was a working day and so the village was filled with old people and children. The young and middle aged people were probably at their work, some in the city. The children looked poor but were certainly not unhappy. They followed us, posed for us, accepted candy from one family and chatted about us. Two practiced very limited English. To the extent that we may have felt as if we were staring at their lives, they stared right back. We exchanged waves and a few words and generally enjoyed each other.

We could not help but wonder what was going through Julia’s mind on our tour of the village. She had on a pretty dress and was riding in her stroller like an empress of old and looking at the kids who lived more like she did last week than what she is living now. Many people in our group were very touched, appreciating deeply the riches they have. I was struck by the spirit of village life. Children are loved and looked after by everyone. Old people work hard but have a place to live. Life in a poor village is not economically rich but I could feel a spirit of life and joy and continuance.

Today, 2 Sept 2006, we visited the Chan Family House (I don’t have the correct name for this one). A many roomed rectangle with uncovered patio garden spaces and covered walkways. There were four rows of rooms and a small but very pretty green garden out back. We saw just a portion of the house furnished in the manner of pre-revolutionary days. Dark and lovely wooden pieces but little comfort. I have no idea how comfort – pillows, blankets, throws, rugs – fit into the Chinese life of the rich or poor.

And our Julia Bye-bye – she is changing every day. I have read this dozens of times and not really believed it but it is hard to believe that she has not been with us always. She does fit us well – maybe too well with that temper and stubborn streak which matches our Cheshire. Julia is learning – she throws tantrums, some in public. I don’t resist her arching back and screams, but lower her to the ground and let her lie there for a few moments. She is usually ready to get up in a few seconds and she asks to have her dirty hands cleaned. The kid is very clean! Sometimes it is more difficult but we haven’t really had a public meltdown – this she saves for our room. The last two days the meltdowns came earlier triggered by some "no". She will yell but then will begin to cry – she doesn’t cry when trantruming. During meltdowns, she tries to hit, pinch, and scratch me, she seems to pull Cheshire’s hair, and hits David. She is sad; she is angry; she is overstimulated, she is confused. She needs holding and time to calm down. We do some hugging and singing to her and it helps. Today, after a meltdown, I brushed her short hair for more than a half hour and she loved it.

I don’t know how she regards us or if she understands anything about family, but she accepts us and turns to us for help and food and pleasure. This is a start. This morning she woke up in the crib and called out, I sat us and said good morning and she laid back down for another half hour. I think she was just checking if we were still here.

I don’t know if I wrote this but we’ve found out that she has been in the orphanage for her entire life minus about 2 months. Knowing this, this past week is even more incredible. Julia Bye-Bye is learning family right before our eyes.

She is a marvelous spirit! She shares everything – okay not her toys. Even the last cookie or piece of watermelon (her absolute favorite food) is broken into pieces for all of us or is offered to each of us to bite before she finishes it. We took her to the Swam Room – a play room at the hotel set up by Matel toys and stocked with every toy I’d never consider buying! Most of the stuff is for babies, but Julia has a great time picking up toys, bringing toys to other children, and using toys in imaginative ways. She has an active imagination! She found a long block today that became a camera, a phone, and two or three other things. From the orphanage we heard that she took toys from other kids and push kids down. We have seen no indication of this at all. If anything, we are constantly surprised how generous she is.


And she will swim with her swimsuit on! I just put it on yesterday and not a sound of protest. Today, she was very happy to see it. She is a fish! She can move by herself with the waterwings. The kid needs a swim team.

Yesterday, we found the store that Betty told me about by the bridge and bought 4 very pretty cotton dresses for less than $30. Today, Julia squealed with delight when I let her choose which one she wanted to wear. She loves dressing pretty, loves jewelry, will go crazy over the make-believe box that the Manns gave to her. I don’t know how this blossom stayed fresh and ready to bloom while kept in an orphanage for five years?

Today, Cheshire and I also went to the pearl market and thank goodness we found those dresses for so cheap – pearls are not so cheap. I found some lovely strands of fresh water pearls that I will have strung as necklaces and bracelets for all of us. Seeing bags and bags piled one on the other filed with all sizes, shapes, and grades of pearls blows the mind. Suddenly they appear hardly precious, almost ordinary, but separate a strand and see the life glisten in each one, just like our Julia, just like each of us.

We will get Julia’s visa picture taken at 5 tonight and then go for a group dinner – our big group of 15 families all in from their provinces – at the Cow and Bridge, a Thai restaurant. Last night, we ate at Lucy’s a very American place. We had burgers, wraps, a burrito, and fries. Julia had fried noodles that we all snacked on. She also ate her first fries! No, not at McD’s but her first fries nonetheless.

Traveling China is not easy, the language is impossible, but I love it. I am comfortable on the streets and would very much like to spend a lot of time here. Maybe one day we will come back and teach English in a small city or town, and get to know our daughter’s country better.

posted by Suz @ 10:26 PM