if only I could be cranky to someone
Day 42 of the wait; the beginning of week 7. And I mope. Feeling a little sorry for myself. Missing family after almost a week in Chicago. Had a wonderful time with Robin and kids -- the wonder of 4 and 6 year olds. Free to speak, to ask questions, to shower their grownups with love, to pout and cry when tired, bored, or unsatisfied. Ah, that is just where I am now. Cannot sleep after deciding to make it an early night. Not satisfied with what is going on at work. One day I am sure I am a lousy lawyer, next day, I am sure it is not me. Not moving forward on my list at a speed that satisfies me, and yet, I know if I was done with everything and no TA had arrived I'd be climbing the walls. I keep telling people what I think will happen and also caution that there is no guarantee, but of course, I am depending heavily on what usually happens. For me, I am sure of guarantees. Not ready to pack yet, not losing weight, not exercising enough, not doing enough work, still painting to do, still gardening, still needing to figure out how to childproof the house. And I stand pretty numb, pretty still. I am cranky. If there was someone to cry to I would, or pout, or moan.
posted by Suz @ 11:49 PM
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