Waiting for Hari

Lost post

This is an update from December 9, a few days before we found out my father died. I forgot to post it but I don't want to forget what was going on. And so, from December 9, 2006:

Julia has been home with us for three months now, and we are almost to the point where it is hard to imagine life without her. She is still pretty demanding but she had learned a level of trust that I did not expect, certainly not so soon. Today, Julia was playing with her trains. Actually, she had just set an oval track up with David’s help, when I was ready to leave the house. I told her that I wanted to leave and got out our coats. Julia was willing to leave her toys and come with me. She would not have been willing to do that last month. I think she is beginning to believe that this is her home to stay.

She is really beginning to enjoy kid movies. A few days ago it was Beauty and the Beast and today, it was Cinderella – both Disney adventures. Of course she loves Mulan and the Little Mermaid, and has seen them both a number of times now, but she watched these two new movies with much more understanding the very first time. She repeated words, and commented at times. During Beauty and the Beast, she really loved the scene when Beauty is playing in the snow with the Beast, and they feed the birds together. She also loved the dancing scene and made David get up and dance with her when the movie ended.

Julia was funny in Trader Joe’s today. She notices everything and has so much that she likes. She always wants to buy cut flowers. She pointed out the miso soup box for me to put in our cart, and the chocolate covered peanuts. She also had caught on that they give kids balloons at the check out. She confuses the words balloon and bubbles, but the concepts and sounds are so close. She loves tasting the samples as we shop. Here she is all her Daddy’s girl!

Julia’s favorite toys these days are her dolls, her trains, and her dinosaurs! She has a bunch of doll clothes for various sizes of dolls, but to her every piece of clothing fits on EVERY doll and dinosaur. We use elastics, ribbons, and plastic ties to keep clothes on because there is no use trying to explain that some piece of clothing doesn’t fit the big baby doll or the Barbie or the ballerina without arms. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a tyrannosaurus rex in tulle and fake fur.

Dinosaurs are a passion! Last week, we made out weekly pilgrimage to the kids museum to go to an art class and visit the dianosphere. It is becoming a Thursday afternoon ritual. I let Julia spend as long as she wants there and she plays with all the computers that have information, she watches the displays and the lighting changes from days to night and back to day. She digs and scrapes in the bones pit.

This week although we had a little trouble getting into the museum, she was relatively willing to leave at the end of our visit which is a big change from a few weeks ago. Again, I feel like she is understanding that places we go and things we do are not a one time only affair. I value this trust she puts in us and know that it is the beginning of a parent-child relationship with is more than supplying her with the necessities of life.

We had a little trouble getting into the museum. I told Julia that we had to check our coats, have lunch, go to our class, and then go visit the dinosaurs. She wanted to have lunch immediately. It was just a pure power struggle – who was going to set the agenda of the day, and unfortunately for Julia, I felt like it was a good lesson to learn. Julia must learn that Mommy and Daddy are the bosses of herq1 . So we had a bit of a back and forth, even made it outside again, in the freezing cold, because if she would not do what I wanted, we were going home. I was not crazy about doing this. I do believe in fighting only about the most important issues, but now that she is not having tantrums often and understands much of what I say, I felt the time was right. It took awhile and we had an audience of the older volunteers who work the front desk and the admittance stations, but Julia eventually gave in and did it my way.

These days Julia moves more normally. She shoulders are not poised for flight, and her knees are not locked when she stands. Julia’s hair is growing. We’ve trimmed her bangs twice now and soon she will need some kind of a hair cut to shape what is growing in.

posted by Suz @ 9:56 PM