Waiting for Hari

Coming home from Chicago

I arrived home from Chicago about 8 last night. It was very sweet. I came in, put all my stuff down, and went into the living room where Julia and David were cuddling on the sofa. Julia’s eyes lit up and she said "Hi mommy." I joined them on the sofa and we cuddled together until it was time to put her to bed. Julia went upstairs with me and we read three books.

Being gone for three days I notice everything!

We read The Seven Jewels, a Chinese fairy tale that we found in China. When I’ve read this before I’ve had to leave out a lot of the story because Julia was not patient about listening. I figure that she couldn’t understand much of what I read. Yesterday, however, I really read the entire book and she was very focused on what I was reading.

Julia also seems a lot calmer. As if something has clicked, the switch turned on, the light brightened. I don’t mean that she did not have moments of calm before – the moment have been growing, but last night and this morning, she seemed so much calmer and collected. She seemed very present and without the defensiveness that I usually feel. Like a fog has lifted, like she is seeing clearly for the first time.

She is still talking non-stop but more and more of it can be understood. She is very exact in her pronunciation and although words can come out strangely, like Mat-te-hew, she is working what she hears. I noticed her being more careful about Mommy and Daddy as well – no more confusion who goes by which name. And she refers to herself as a Mei-Mei (little sister), as well as Bye-Bye, and Julia. Last night she said, pointing to herself, "name Julia." She is claiming ground.

I notice her getting gentler (such a relief!). She reminds herself and us to "Be gentle," as we have reminded her many times and I seen her restraining herself when she starts to hit or move in the quick aggressive way that characterized her movement the last three months.

She did have a meltdown on Monday with David. He promise to take her to the kids museum and when they got there, he discovered it was closed. But he said that it reminded him that she had not had one of these in a long time.

I kow that there are more challenges ahead, but I have the feeling that boot camp is over.

Julia is as wonderful as we imagined that she would be -- and she has not been here for three months!

posted by Suz @ 10:23 AM