Waiting for Hari

Thanksgiving

Our first major holiday with Julia went so much better than we could have imagined. We talked to Julia about our holiday and told her about all of our visitors for the weekend. She and I had a great time making the welcome sign and although it was our only real decoration (not counting a relatively clean house which is decoration enough for me), it set the mood of our home.

We were visited by Robin and her two kids who are close to Julia in age. Both Alison and Nathaniel were wonderful with Julia, playing with her and forgiving her for not always sharing or seeing the world as they see it. It was wonderful to watch the three of them play side by side and with each other. Julia’s lack of language was hardly at issue, although it is clear from her listening and her responses that she understands so much of what we say. (Unfortunately, we have no pictures of the three kids! Both Robin and I thought they’d make it over to our house again during the weekend. Darn!)

On Wednesday, Marcia picked Julia up from school, and she, Julia, and Matthew went to the kids museum. Marcia said that Julia did well, even though she had to be scooped up from the carousel and taken away. Julia came home saying both of their names. She gives Matthew’s name three syllables (Matt-te-yew) which is very cute (Later I realized that this pronunciation is a real attempt to pronounce the "th" in Matthew’s name). When Marcia left our house, Julia needed to watch the car leave the driveway and street, and stood by the door for awhile asking for Marcia.

Then on Wednesday late afternoon, Lisa and familia arrived. They had sent a short video, saying hello to Julia, the day before. Julia loved it and we watched the 30 second video over and over as Lisa, Nick, Sarah Grace, and Michael said hello to Julia over and over. By the time they arrived, I could tell that their faces were familiar, and we all settled into spending the weekend together very quickly. (Of course, this does make me think that if Julia had gotten our picture book before we arrived, our meeting might have been easier. Oh, well.)

Julia learned the kids’ names first, and was calling for Michael and Sarah throughout the house. It was Wednesday evening when Robin also came over. The five kids spread out over the living room, watching a movie, putting trains tracks together, and changing doll clothes. There was a nice symmetry to their play and the level of noise was not bad at all. I do understand now why it would have been somewhat easier to bring Julia into a big family. She definitely wanted to copy the behavior that she saw, and she had so many good examples to follow. She blended in with the scene and watching her no one would be able to tell that she had not been home 3 months yet.

Thursday, we cooked and ate and talked and played. Marcia and Matthew joined us for Thanksgiving, and Matthew and Michael hit it off. Before dinner, David and Nick took the kids to Holiday Park and they all enjoyed the playground and walking to the river. Julia especially enjoyed riding on Nick’s shoulders and now tells us to turn around when she wants to be picked up. Julia had no trouble with our Thanksgiving food. She still does not enjoy white potatoes, but she indulged liberally in everything else.

Julia likes to say grace. She loves holding hands around the table, and prompts us to do it a number of times during a meal. We say the grace from Madeleine, and at the end Julia repeats "each other" which is the last word. Lisa commented that "each other" makes a fine Amen. Who knows, we may enter religious life yet. I have to think that Julia is understanding something about being together. She says together many times, and so much and each other. I don’t think she understands complete meanings of these words and phrases but she does sense the community and the family of these words.

Julia is behaving like a very wise three-year-old these days. She acts immature for her 5.75 years, but her stubbornness or anger is tempered some with a knowledge or perspective that the normal 3 year old does not have. Her language continues to bloom – sometimes we don’t understand what she is say even though she is trying to speak English. It is interesting at times when she uses both Chinese and English to express her desires or demands. She says "Neow," her Chinese for bathroom, "pee," what we say at home, and now "potty" which is what they say in school. Amazing this triple attempt at communication.

She was pretty good going to sleep each night that company was with us. Generally, she stayed up later than usual but each time she went to bed before the others and did not complain. I did an abbreviated read with her the nights that I put her to bed and then just laid while she fell asleep. On Friday night, I was so tired that I probably popped off to sleep before she did. David woke me later to tell me to get to bed.

I did hate to see Lisa and family leave. I vow to find at least another time during the year to spend a long weekend together. Maybe we have to start taking a week during the summer together, maybe just another long weekend. I want Julia to grow up with Sarah and Michael as close cousins, and having more time with Lisa wouldn’t disappoint me either.

I am back in Chicago now and missing my girl and her Dad once again. I’ve been talking to Julia about twice a day. She seems eager at times, and willing the rest of the time to get on the phone. She has no more to say than the normal 5 year old and loves to play with the phone buttons.

I’ve started thinking about Christmas. What we want to do for it. A tree – of course, but I want so little this year in the way of gifts. I have so much already. 

posted by Suz @ 9:18 AM