11 September 2005

No breeze, green leaves, sun.

Our Pearl Harbor. A day of no breeze, green leaves, sun. And Indianapolis was very far away from my dearest city. And the guards at the magnatomitor in the court house told me about the first plane as I came into work. I did not believe them. I said -- oh, a mistake, a little plane. No chills, no fears. Then the news and the pictures and the lives television coverage. After the second tower was hit, we stood in JT's chambers watching it all happen. "The building is going to come down," JT said. "No," I said. "No." And then it did. And then for awhile while it was all digested, everyone was a New Yorker. No easy cliche here. After living the middle since 1989, and never feeling accepted because of my roots, I was emotionally embraced by everyone. And now, still, I scan the skyline in every movie, tv show, and documentary, looking to see if the towers are standing, are they missing. In my mind, I see the city scape as it is on the bus from Jersey going into the Lincoln Tunnel. I see it both ways, each as real as the other.

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